0442
   trying to do stuff is hard for me. it triggers harsh dyskinesia and
   tactile hallucinations. my muscles clench and move me away from the
   task, the harder I try.
   I have a lot of those strangely-interwound behaviors, where doing one
   thing causes something else, inside me. one doctor said neurological
   damage could cause this, after measuring some of my nerves. I know my
   brain can rewire things. it's unfortunate i'm doing this in a way
   counter to my goals.