While mourning causing harm, I was able to form conscious logic that my
   brain was likely hacked.  This sounds silly but is very real.
   What does it mean to have a brain hacked?
   It means a system that learns how you respond to some influences, can
   design those influences in ways that produce responses it chooses.
   Spending time in conflict with such a system, produces for me a trauma-
   and trance- like pattern in one's mind, that defends the produced
   responses on its own, and intelligently guides them.