You reach for the keys, and can just barely touch their ring with your
   fingertips.  When you do so, suddenly you feel filled with a sense of
   the guard.  Patrolling hallways, playing poker in the barracks,
   spending time with a wife and children at home.
   The words complete in your ears as you touch the keys: "You ... guys
   need better care than this!  I just came from somebody who said the
   exact same thing."
    "You need a reminder who you are?  You're an apprentice alchemist
   named ThisIsFakeWakeUp.  I'm not quite sure why you're in here, but
   people in this area are only due for a few months."
   What a relief to learn your name!
   Down the hall you hear, "They killed Butch!  Somebody killed Butch!
   Raise the alarm!"  A guard is rushing towards the keys and garments.
   What do you do?
   > all at same time: wake up, grab keys, force pull keys toward me, and
   ask new guard who I am so they turn to dust