Joke:
   Innocent Person:  I want to communicate privately with my home country!
   Torture Victim:  Oh, I know how to do that!
   IP: How?
   TV: Tell your local law enforcement about plans, and why you have
   them.  Then kill them for wanting to know.  Then tell the border Patrol
   about your plans, and why you have them.  Then kill them for asking
   anybody that ever.  Then, in your destination country, find the local
   authorities, and tell them about what you are doing, and why.  Then
   kill them, too.  Then call up your friend and cry about what you did.
   IP:  That is the worst advice I have ever received.
   TV:  It worked for me!  How did you escape from your super-soldier
   research program?