Morning Spam

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

miller
> Mind control is produced through a combination of hypnotic suggestion,
drugs,
> torture, threats, and double binds (choices where there is no good
option).

i also might start a book about dissociative stabilization
0654

elided from miller
> Some of those beliefs (such as that the abusers always know where you are)
> might have been actually true …, but are no longer true. Others were
never true.
> The indoctrination of mind control consists of lies reinforced by tricks.
But …
> you did not know that these were lies and tricks, and probably most of
your
> insiders still do not know that. The emotions resulting from these
experiences
> are just as strong …
0657 0658

note: i’m skipping chapter five for now. i drafted an email regarding a
500-page stabilization workbook, but the email did not send, it would move
from the outbox to drafts on its own, with the attachment removed (maybe
too big, around 2MB).
0727

0731 i’m getting confused :)
> Whenever I went to take the bus to see her, my right leg would start to
shake
> uncontrollably. It would start again when I sat down in her office. My
upper body
> would tense up, my head would suddenly turn towards the left, my whole
body
> would shoot back towards the back of the chair, and my head would hit the
wall
> behind me. I didn't know what was going on. It all happened within
seconds. I
> would lose my vision and then come to, drained and exhausted, either
leaning
> to one side of the chair or on the floor near her desk. I could not
comprehend
> anything the counsellor said to me until she helped me to ground myself by
> looking at five different objects in her room and/or feeling my feet flat
on the
> floor and/or standing up for a few minutes to reorientate myself. Every
session
> was basically the same, going through body memories without understanding
> them.
0732
i’m scared. i’m thinking of how grounding exercises can get harder and
harder, and of the double-binds i get in internally, (whether to protect my
memories and choices or meet internal goals) which have been in the past
couple days around this
0733
this case story is from the start of ch6
0734
> I had to write and rewrite what I was reading so that I could retain the
> information for exam time. However, when exam time came, I was not able to
> understand the questions on the exam, and I couldn't organise or
articulate my
> thoughts. Sometimes I would go into a trance-like state and just stare at
the
> paper until a sudden noise or something triggered me out of it again. I
barely
> managed to complete the courses.
it’s (quite impressive) the person can describe these things clearly
0735
i think the person in the case story started having many of my issues after
beginning work with an inexperienced therapist regarding a severe childhood
trauma
0737
she says therapy was not helpful, triggering programs where she harmed her
therapy organization and herself, until she found a therapist “who
understands survivors of mind control and ritual abuse.”
0739

the chapter moved on to writing by the insiders. my insiders really
appreciated having expressions present ; but likely to copy, and author
mentioned (memory contamination), so karl is skipping to ch9 (from start of
6) as seeemed most important
0743 there’s plan to take this slow and building focus on finding skilled
therapist

i’m confused, and might return to ch6, unsure.
. one thiught is that we don’t need to “say what is real”, we instead need
(patterns that help. for example, modeling talking about things that are
even vaguely similar to what go on.
(i guess 9 :s ch for now
0745?

0805 in a video game (stone story, thru bronze gate), a character said
something like “i’m scared, oh you’re not a controller, i don’t have a name
but you can call me pusher because i push” :)

0807 (it then said “beware o-

1125
maybe have to work with twisters of meaning and information, to have
function
1126
(different: we think you have a brain camera and you don’t, so things (are
done fake?) to protect from misuse of memory storage)(noting that also
describes information twisting)
1127
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: not available
Type: text/html
Size: 5763 bytes
Desc: not available
URL: <https://lists.cpunks.org/pipermail/cypherpunks/attachments/20240305/eee96f95/attachment.txt>