Morning Spam

[Undiscussed Groomed for Male Slavery, One Victim of Many]

rebel worker 2 updates his Dictatorsoft Mobile Phone

device: "We've upgraded DictatorMaps with important features and
security fixes, including removing a government backdoor [CVE] and
replacing it with a corporate backdoor."

device: "DictatorPhotos has all your best photos! Our business
partnership around a corporate backdoor has been terminated with bad
vibes all around, and we have replaced it with a government backdoor."

device: "Update DictatorMessages now. Our government backdoors and
corporate backdoors have revealed competing security reports and need
upgrades."

rebel worker 2 hits upgrade for each application. he's excited.

---

traffick boss hires a cryptographer

traffick boss: "is this cryptography?"

cryptographer: "no, that's a back scratcher."

traffick boss [picking up back scratcher and scratching his back]:
"okay, what about this? is this cryptography?"

cryptographer: "no, um, it looks like that makes your lights flicker
when somebody talks about something called "trafficking"?

traffick boss: "ah, yeah. okay, how about this? is this cryptography?"

cryptographer: "oh, yeah, that's an encrypted messaging system!"

traffick boss [grabbing the encrypted messaging system]: "great!
everybody, make sure this is defunded and destroyed and put a flag on
anyone that uses it."

cryptographer stares wide-eyed

traffick boss [to cryptographer]: "this way, i have another job for you."