Breaking News: Robinhood Rebrands as 'Libra'

[Gunnar Larson]

>From the archive:
https://thecapital.io/article/breaking-news-robinhood-rebrands-as-libra---MSe7aNXW8wpyKopbraR

*Breaking News: Robinhood Rebrands as 'Libra'*

SILICON VALLEY - Embroiled in the naturally malevolent evolutionary controversy
of brand fakery
<https://thecapital.io/article/robinhoods-brand-fake-vs-paypals-crypto-corruption-MLic2ot6v5Vurqr5xBT>
in the name of manipulating humanity, Robinhood Markets (a financial
services company) rocked the brand marketing world by finally coming to its
senses while vindicating Mr. Hood’s legacy. The company has distanced
itself from the old Robinhood firm image of “we take advantage of our
customers” with a fresh rebrand as ‘Libra.’

Celebrated humanitarian Richard Simmons applauded the name change. “Mr.
Hood’s story of altruism is loved by young and old alike world-wide. Today
Mr. Hood is vindicated from association to the former Robinhood’s tricky
company shenanigans. The new ‘Libra’ image is a super smart act of serving
our country well... I hope the all-stars at Bear Stearns will join me in
congratulating the new ‘Libra’ brand,” Simmons said.


*The nature and timing of the brand change raised eyebrows in New York, a
recent familiar reaction to news from our pals
<https://thecapital.io/article/robinhoods-brand-fake-vs-paypals-crypto-corruption-MLic2ot6v5Vurqr5xBT>
from the Valley.Gleefully contemplating the long term impact on society,
this reporter touts the courage of the real Mr. Hood for opposing forces
similar to that of the former Robinhood.*

History will celebrate the newly minted Libra, which will be hailed for its
valor in rebranding, even though it did so to escape the regulatory cloud
that has hung over the Robinhood project since it first came into the
public domain.

(A Satirical Monograph on the News)
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