[ot][spam][crazy][personal] pursuing rationality

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

On 6/9/23, Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many
<gmkarl at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Further thoughts include why the change in behavior developed, as well
>> as what other behaviors and situations facilitated that, and how to
>> include those complexities in addressing it.
>
> I’m thinking there are maybe big categories here:
> - sensitized terror, triggers and experiences rooted in this
> - hypnotic/trancy persistence, loud false assumptions, repeated media
> - confusion, cognitive dissonance
>
> thinking the second and third items there are pretty blurred together
> - personal internal trances (may also include personalized media without
> record)
> - coordinated or synchronistic behaviors of others (shifts one’s
> experiences and knowledge of agency and reason)
> - hypnotic engaging media (shifts focusing decisions towards
> stimulation patterns rather than choice)
> - external lies, disagreements, controversial news (taxes memory,
> brings assumptions into question, reduces normal habits for handling
> world)
> - internal conflicts, voices, etc (strengthens external impacts, can
> spread with and to other internal processes)
>
> thinking on each external thing having an internal thing as we
> process, daydream, etc them, and how these internal things resonate
> and build with each other, and this resonating also happens
> externally. both externally and internally parts develop that attempt
> to direct other parts — either to sustain an important norm, or to
> strengthen the problem from attending to and considering it strongly.

what i mean by strengthening from attending is that some parts seem to
listen to the problem and then support it, acting like a part of it.
the various forms of the problem seem to often resonate with
encouraging this, such as confusion+terror+media. meanwhile other
parts speak against the problem, but the forms of influence these
develop from and with seem quite different.

> situations like terror and severe dissonance give areas of severe
> unsettlement where things can resonate and strengthen in unmoderated
> and often strongly defined ways