[spam][crazy][fiction][random] Non-Canon MCBoss Spinoffs

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

i went 2 th store and went to th fishmonger

mongerin fish

at the side of the store

everythin smelled like fish how do they stand there all day

i was all “hey fishmonger”

the fishmonger was all “sorry what did u call me??”

n i was all “fishmonger gimme half a pound of codefish”

the fishmonger went and got a slab of cod
and sliced a chunk off
and weighed it
and wrapped it
and put a sticker on it
and handed it to me

and i was all “what are you doing i said codefish not codfish”

and then i was all “i’m vegan u dolt”

the fishmonger looked irritated

and i felt guilty

really really really guilty

so i put my hand in this slab of cod

and i looked this fishmonger in the eye

and i was all “my friend, perfect fishmonger, i have wronged you
today. i have wronged your person, your work. your time, and so much
more. from the bottom of my heart, i apologize. i will buy this cod
from you today. and i will put in a word with the store, that you are
the finest fishmonger that —“

the salesperson raised a hand to interrupt me

and this fishmonger said to me,

“what is a fishmonger?”

i was standing there

my vegan hand on this cold slab of cod

looking this fishmonger in the eye

meaning to buy some codefish, whatever that is,

and the fishmonger said this to me.

they asked me what a fishmonger was.

i bet they didn’t know what a codefish was, either,