[ot] Stronger-After.org Is a Beautiful Glimpse of Freedom

[Karl Semich]

We created a one-on-one coaching curriculum to untangle coercive control.

The five units with a Stronger After coach will help you make sense of
your experience, find words, and learn skills that help you move
forward.

Unit 1:
Common challenges after leaving

Unit 2:
Coercive environments

Unit 3:
Boundaries and identity

Unit 4:
Reducing anxiety, developing confidence

Unit 5:
Moving on and getting help

See a full description below.

Unit 1: Common challenges after leaving
- Generalized confusion
- Anxiety, dissociation, anger, and depression
- Loss of community and friends, loneliness
- Leaving people behind and mourning
- Feelings of betrayal and loss
- Blame and self-blame
- Repressed emotions
- Unwanted thoughts
- All-or-nothing, black-or-white good-vs-evil thinking
- New social rules and adapting to world
- Finding housing and work
- Issues with relationships and intimacy

Unit 2: Coercive environments
- Recruitment, love- and info-bombing
- Fear, isolation, and coercion as a tool to create dependency
- Promises of “Exclusive Safety”, salvation, reward after death
- Denial of personal boundaries
- Extreme daily demands and life rules
- Threats (physical, psychological, spiritual punishment) for deviation
- Defamation of outsiders and those who leave

Unit 3: Boundaries and identity
- Why individuality and strong boundaries were discouraged
- Not being allowed to say “no”- a gateway to all kinds of abuse
- Anger and numbness as good indicators for when boundaries are crossed
- Developing self-protection skills
- Check out your convictions - What to keep?
- Developing one’s own identity and goals
- Finding one’s inner space and safety (again)

Unit 4: Reducing anxiety and developing confidence
- The effects of adrenaline and heightened stress levels
- Rejection and feelings of failure and building resilience
- Mistakes as (helping) learning experiences (tools) and living with uncertainty
- Developing confidence and standing up for yourself
- Learning to trust your instincts and your own perception
- Making decisions and taking responsibility

Unit 5: Moving on and getting help
- How to find a therapist and reach out for help
- Assessing who to trust, when to tell your story
- Voicing your opinions at work and in relationships
- Identifying and communicating your needs
- Forgiving yourself, allowing moments of perceived weakness
- Enjoying life without guilt, developing hobbies and being content

Born or raised in a coercive environment
If you were born or raised in a coercive group or family, our coaches
will spend extra time on this topic in a sixth unit or throughout the
five units.

[Intake Form]

This questionnaire will help you better understand your own experience
and communicate to us what you need. It includes our privacy and
confidentiality agreement.

After you have completed the intake form, one of our coaches will
contact you within 2-4 business days to set up your first call or
video conference.

Remember, this can be challenging. Don't forget to take a deep breath
and take care of yourself. If you are having thoughts of harming
yourself, please contact a confidential helpline[1] in your country.
Talk to someone who can help.

[Self Care Ideas]

1: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html