[ot][spam][crazy] karl has stopped eating food

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

rooty i wanted to thank you for the job it has been pleasant working for you
i spent a lot of time trying to find work like this this winter

i would like to report that i have been eating 3 meals a day ever
since your request

recently things have been changing for me. i’ve been finding bits of
therapy and starting to talk about things just a very tiny bit. not
sure if anyone is hearing it.

but these tiny things like trauma-informed meditation and
self-resonance, or just starting internal family systems, they seem
able to really turn things upside down for me, it is like “woahhhhh” i
thought this would never happen, and i’m just vaguely at the start of
it. i don’t how to hold my parts or realities. in some ways, i’m not
taking as good care of myself. maybe because it’s surprising to learn
you’re someone different than you thought. habits and hypnotic
processes and past coping strategies seem to fall by the wayside some
as i adapt to these strange new feelings. i wish it was all more
transparent and forthright and rational and easy. i still need an
advocate and a deprogrammer.

over the past few weeks i’ve been eating less regularly. sometimes i
have “3 meals a day” by having one meal twice in a row.

today i had breakfast at lunchtime. my states of mind moved around
while writing this, which i didn’t quite expect, and now i’m not
certain i needed to send it. hope you are all well.

likely i might have two suppers tonight to sort the 3/day goal out.
part of me is frustrated. thinking of quitting the job and working on
my own for a bit. the coldest parts of winter seem over but i never
got my weight up much. it’s been fun though! really really inspiring!

rooty was a good boss to give me this work

On 12/31/22, ytooR <Arpspoof at proton.me> wrote:
> Hi Karl - please continue to eat three meals a day and not to many carbs.
> Glad you are eating now and feel better -
>
> Your boss rooty
>
> ------- Original Message -------
> On Thursday, December 29th, 2022 at 7:57 AM, Karl Semich <0xloem at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
>
>> I have been eating recently.
>>
>> I have not yet eaten today.
>>
>> I would like to eat more frequently.
>>
>> Things have been more confusing and I am still adjusting.
>