[spam][spam][spam][fake] fake spam from fake spam corporation

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

greetings hacktivists

we send you warm diplomacy from our fake spam corporation

0738

we are having an interdepartmental conflict. a small scuffle between
two coworkers regarding the color of the bikeshed. i assume you this
will take no more than two months to properly resolve.

until then, the fake spam must continue. we would not want to keep you
waiting, nor surprise you at a lack of the caring adverts.

please purchase more fake spam from fake spam corporation. we are
reachable via the fake post, the fake internet, and even the fake
phone lines. contact our fake sales department and place your request.

0740

my fake phone is ri ing. somebody has a question about fake spam.

yes? what is your question?

oh! you want to buy a spam package?

this is delightful news. it tickles me up and down and left and right.
i am overcome with fake delight at your order!

we will send you the fake spam right away, as soon as this fake phone
conversation is over. it will be the very next thing i do!

goodbye! have a wonderful and perfect day full of our very best fake
spam! yes, thank you!

1943

i have to fake spam you with a fake story from my fake boss.
apparently the story is supposed to repeatedly call out how fake it
is. can you believe that?

like, what kind of boss asks you to do something fake and then say
that it is fake, inside it?

how is it supposed to be fake if it says it is? that’s not fake!
that’s forthright!

i don’t know what kind of hijinks my fake boss could be trying to pull
here. i am an honest worker. a moral worker! i would never try to
deceive you by sending you forthright fake spam unless my fake boss
had told you to, fake cross my heart and fake hope to die!

i promise you with my utmost determination, i will sort this out. this
is not the last you have heard from me.

1946

it’s interesting how this relation is so very similar to early blogs
of nerdy teenagers. really big on verbal self feedback. i wonder if my
other relations have the same attribute.