[spam][spam][spam][fake] fake spam from fake spam corporation

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

i’m considering incorporating as a fake spam business

getting the spam gears fired up

i want to try to condense the fake spam into larger emails, although i
worry i lose timing information that can reveal network and other
details a smidge

one of the ways i can express more freely here is [our marketers may
be changing the content between these braces for your pleasure]

ummmm i meant to say the thing i’d said before! i didn’t know it had
become controversial!

1929 ET

if there are no cypherpunks here to spam, how will i spam the
cypherpunk list? what is going on?

i meed consistency. i need consistency!

i’m fake spamming the hacktivists on the list! i said it!

we get paid top fake dollars for this list spamming. somebody doesn’t
like hacktivists.

we try to make the spam kind and gentle! we hope the hacktivists might
hire us someday too!

1930

this fake spam business is just getting started up. we’re a small
operation, only a handful of clients, but we’ve got an office space of
our own now and we’re opening the doors for the first time

spam ! spam spam spam!

here, this is a fake story about my fake grandniece and the time she
adopted a bear at the local zoo.

# Fake Story About the Fake Grandniece who Adopted a Bear at the Zoo

did you know there were zoos that let you adopt bears? i didn’t. i’m
pretending i have a grandniece who told me a story about this
happening, and i’m pretending that when i heard this story i imagined
a little girl walking out of a zoo with a bear on a leash, taking it
home on the sidewalk or on a bus with everybody aghast or maybe in the
back if a big suv, and then it pooping on the table and clawing up the
curtains and scratching huge gashes in the doorframes and walls
looking for some kind of bear thing like an ant colony to eat or a
place to hibernate in the walls or something.

but no.

turns out i’m pretending that this fake grandniece was just

oops!

my coworkers are telling me that’s it for the grandniece story for now
whoopsies! they seem quite upset about something.

1936

i assure you i am all about spamming the nice and helpful hacktivists
on this list! really! this is what i am doing!