[ot][spam][crazy][fiction] morning spam 3: hybrid mcboss

[Karl Semich]

boss eats cookies across from vivisected activist.

vivisected activist: “i want to get a job!”
boss: “good good.”
vivisected activist: “maybe i will work at happy horse beefsteaks!”
boss: “WHAT????? _happy_ horse beefsteaks? do you know how bad
happiness is for the economy? i’ll be taking your left arm please.”
machine learning marketer: “erm, mr boss sir, uh. with the cameras
rolling and all we are trying to be nicer.”
boss stares at machine learning marketer and his bloody gaze reduced a little.
boss: “i forgot how important every precious victim is i forgot.”
boss stared at machine learning marketer more.
boss: “i don’t understand. i dont want to further torture this
vivisected activist, but when i look at them i do, so badly. it’s
frightening.”
machine learning marketer coughs again: “uh, you actually ordered a
program from our engineers that would cause that very experience to
you”
boss: “i did?”
machine kearning marketer: “yes”
boss: “why would i ever do that?”
machine learning marketer: “something about bloody libtards taking
down our f8ne establishments and shitting on our ..”
boss: “right, right. um, do you still sell these … what do you call them?”
vivisected activist [screaming, clawing at flesh]: “it is so hard to
remove my arm to give to you so i can try to apply for another job …
!”
boss turned to vivisected activist
boss: “stop that right this instant.”
vivisected activist stopped trying to remove their arm
boss: “i mind controlled myself to torture your people. you can’t obey
or listen to anything i tell you about harming yourself or your
friends. do you understand?”
vivisected activist stared at boss