[ot][coding-therapy?] Moronism And The Thorough Code Review

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

One of the huge changes I've experienced was strong inhibition around
thoroughly reviewing things.

Before all this, I would read an entire chip spec from from to end,
every word on every page, before coding for that chip, and I wouldn't
have to read it again: not because I had any kind of eidetic memory,
but because I noted each thing that seemed useful somehow, with
similar useful things I had already been exposed to.

Nowadays, I so fervently want to quickly dip through something, and
have an AI or a bunch of enslaved social network users do most of it
for me. "If you want something done right, do it yourself," goes right
out the window.

Trying to be thorough now gives me chest contractions, amnesia, etc
etc . The moronism seems too strong for me.

This is a huge part of why I make so many bugs when coding, and it
gives my other personality, the one planning what bugs to make, so
much space to act in. Security reviews are ridiculous now: I add and
hide more vulnerabilities than I address. But I'll be sure to address
one, because I'm trying to! And then you trust me! It's so bad it's
hilarious, like everything else.

Another thing that gets much harder with this issue is things like
optimization and creative hacks. I used to read all my APIs just like
those chip specs, from front to back, and pick the very best solutions
for every problem I encountered. Similarly language specifications.

Now, like any good influenced person, I only easily see tiny things
that engage my influence, and everything else takes great effort and
raises my triggers. Often I call this blindness, because I literally
do not see physical visual things right in front of my face.

I've been dealing with that for years. But suddenly it occurred to me
that _calling it out_ in this way could give me an avenue to work on
it.

And then I see how it describes so many of my issues. It's a really
basic one, that I can engage almost anywhere.

What tasks, I wonder, are really conducive to practicing thoroughness?
Simply the act of methodically engaging and including every part of
something, maybe in a software context, and maybe sidestepping things
like working memory challenges a little.