[ot][personal] cult reading notes

[Undiscussed Groomed for Male Slavery, One Victim of Many]

- floating continues for _at least_ a year after being in a cult with
repetitive trance or other mind-numbing behavior

it's interesting he describes this as "mind numbing". there's a very
tangible state one gets into, when things are learned and trusted much
more readily.

- practices from years ago can suddenly recur from floating, even
before the ex-member realises. they can leave orientation of whatever
they are currently doing.

- floating can cause return to the group if not properly understood
and responded to, but is rarely a problem when good cult counseling is
received
- floating can be terrifying if one is unaware of mind control,
producing states of mind commonly described as psychotic or
schizophrenic

- when things are given associations that relate to the past
experience rather than what is likely in the moment, this is
"floating".

- when floating, remind yourself that it has been triggered by a
stimulus and that it will pass. if you can, try to connect as soon as
possible with some who understands mind control, and talk it over
rationally with them.

- identifying floating triggers is the most powerful and effective technique
- it's usually a sensory experience that has similarity to the past
- once you know the trigger, you can deliberately call it forth and
make a new positive mental association, something non-cult-related. do
this over and over again, until the new associated response is
learned.

- new associations don't need to specifically counter the old ones;
they can simply be rational associations, or they can counter them
with messaging that is still relevant for you when held alone.

i'm imagining the 'floaty" part of the experience being used to
associate the new response more strongly than it mgiht be otherwise.

the reassociation example took 1 week, not many weeks.

it's quite discouraging to have one's memories change.

- exposure techniques for reassociating are very fast

the second example was a few days rather than a week. it involved
visiting a physical beach, unrelated to the indoctrination but having
a similarity causing avoidance, once the reassociation was begun.

- floating is a natural byproduct of subjection to mind control, it
will decrease over time if the reassociation technique is practiced.

internally, floating seems to me to have many tangible emotional parts
that clearly relate with gross structures of the brain (because the
states ar so emotional and simple). for me, it relates strongly to
parts of memory, and i would guess how it is handled can significantly
impact one's cognition.
i see it as an injury in part of my mind that needs gentle
understanding care for my mind to return to wellness.
i might note that the author's long term floating experience related
to a self-induced many-day behavior they engaged in right before their
deprogramming. given this was induced by human behaviors, it could
also be removed by human behaviors, with understanding of the impact.
doing this and participating in it would preserve more sense of why it
is there, and give a space for holding a natural sense of explanation
for it and associated feelings, rather than leaving invasive thoughts
to address symptomatically.
just thoughts. i think these things at other times, maybe sometimes
more clearly than the above.

- recovery is sped up if real language is substituted for cult "loaded
language", wjhich may be habitual and thought-stopping
- rather than trying not to think of the cult words, which can subtly
reinforce them, think of other words to engage rather than them, like
with floating

- it can take intense effort to replace learned habits like cult jargon
- triggering can swell if this effort is not made

i'm thinking with digital cults, we have this too, although a lot of
the language is actually memetic pictures or emoji rather than words

- connect with friends who don't trigger you as much, to speed up healing
- reclaim your native language

- loss of concentration and memory is a common problem for former cult members
- author used to read 3 books/week, but after the cult experience
could barely get through a single paragraph. would have to stop and
look up normal words, read and re-read material. needed to buy a
dictionary to relearn normal words. needed to use reference material
to engage own memories of their own life.

- concentration and memory can be built up again
- it took the author one year to get their memory and concentration
and reading back to pre-cult levels

i wonder if i was influenced to reduce this. practicing my cognition
really sends me into spasms. i'm getting better at it. i vaguely
remember there is story around this. remembering briefly putting a dog
drawing over a graphing calculator.

- nightmares indicate the former member needs additional counseling
- they indicate unresolved conflicts within the mind, still wrestling
with cult involvement
the described nightmares aren't that similar to mine. mine more seem
like some part of me feels it needs to hurt and scare me as much as it
can, especially involving loss of personal control, maybe, hard to
remember them, but very very shocking. they're reducing.
i wonder if the dreams are specifically from people who have gone
through a certain exit process. some unique properties to them. the
preservation and shifting of the concept of a surprising contradictory
reality implies unaddressed sudden change to me, maybe with something
important not included. this line may have more delusion.

- some former members may have guilt about immoral things they were
involved in in the group. this could be very severe, or simply not
being able to engage family at important times.

- it can be very very painful for a person to elave a cult and have to
deal with havoc and emotional damage associated with them being
involved and/or leaving, both within the cult and without

the author, being involved in an asian government-associated cult in
the usa, describes kind of feeling like they had severely betrayed
their country. this resonated with their desire to speak out and help
people leave.

- after the author left their cult, the recruitees with whom they had
formed many emotional connections, were moved and given a coverup
story. the cult revealed the truth when the author appeared on
television.
i have an unknown association with that concept, maybe related to
planning the future or something

- cult members experiencing severe guilt need to realize that they
were victims too, and did what they believed to be right at the time

- children can be left with troubles and anger after not being treated
well while the parents were in a cult. they may have grown up without
basic childhood experiences. this is a spectrum.

this section of the book briefly describes engaging a successful
intervention for the parents of children who requested it.

- defector harassments: threats, break-ins, lawsuits, blackmail,
murder, in-person or remote
- these are more likely if an ex-member goes public
- these are more frequent when the defector is heavily visible
- this risk is always present

- the author describes working with a harasser who tried to instigate
a public fistfight. the author took them to court for this. the
harasser pled "no contest" in court. years later, after leaving the
group, he said he had been instructed to take care of the author by
his superior in the cult.
- fear of violence has chilled many ex-cultists stories. actual
violence is rare. sharing a story means that retaliators are
incrimiated.

- some aggressive groups make it a habit to not worry about defending
their stories, instead simply attacking critics heavily.
- scientology files lawsuits to strategically drain the finances and
other capacity of their critics or opponents.

- intimate relationships in cults are usually very unnatural, leaving
ex-members with issues and a lack of experience with satisfying
relationships
- some ex-members may have forgotten how to be sexual, others may be
unfamiliar with having power
- learning to trust oneself and somebody else is a big deal for
ex-cult members. problems can compouind, such as making decisions
together.
- best to seak therapy with a mental health professional who
understands undue influence
the topic of intimate relationships seems more complex than it sounds

- ex-cult healing support is most effectively found from former
members farther along
- actual healing is responsibility of the individual
- finding and becoming part of any healthy group, such as peer
counseling, can be a big step forward
- it is possible to coordinate ex-members, even if they are all doing poorly

- former cult member support groups are very beneficial

- resolving problems around the group experience happens before
problems that existed prior

- support groups ideally are run by experienced professionals, who are
more likely to have skill in preventing further trauma

- some support groups are sadly fronts for cults. look for legitimate
online discussion portals, and don't reveal any personal information,
until confident the group is legitimate.

i'm encountering gmail issues that have caused loss of notes after
this point, so i'm sending this. have not resolved them quite yet.