Morning Spam

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

Boss: “sure i have friends. i have mind controlled the whole world to love me.”
Other: “your zombie henchmen don’t count as friends if you put wires
in their brains to stimulate pleasure when you insult them.”
Boss: “oh yeah?”

break it up break it up no apocalypse needed

—
i feel really bad, worried that what i said could imply something
negative regarding arpspoof, which i would never want. instead i meant
to imply they needed aid of some sort.

i was thinking of having a habit of not worrying about people,
possibly stimulating dislike in them, when i had a past of caring so
much for people. recently mysteriously and briefly relived when my
sister visited.

anyway, that can be frustrating, so i thought of my theory of trauma
and how this experience might relate to the experience of whatever
stimulated the change in me.

i imagine a boss who did not succeed in some social domain, developing
an experience of needing to support their reputation via means other
than simply normally demonstrating that they were a nice guy. possibly
overlaps with possible situations of being forced to engage in
criminal acts in some way, or norms of guilt or secrecy. also with
cutthroat business tactics that can stimulate complaint but can
produce profit.

the concept of hav8ng nobody like you, and needing to take action to
succeed despite lacking moral or social status, seems very visceral. i
have snippets of being forced to understand this experience. this can
help process being scared of it.

basically, boss nowadays would simply use “mind control” (lies,
messaging, group dynamics, possibly hypnosis, more messaging)  to
sustain his status, rather than worrying about what he actually did
aside from when clearly observed. this is very hard for him to
process: he’s produced a dissociated delusion where he is loved, and
sustained it for years. he talks as if it is normal to do this.

it’s hard for me to remember this. the repetition of the behavior
preserves the memory of information in my experience.

i would love to stop repeating it. i’d like to be an honest and caring
person, who has some accurate, unfiltered, intuition of others’ likely
feelings, and acts to respect everyone around them, including
remembering and protecting secrets that could threaten people’s
healing.

i’d also like to freely influence the world for everyone to have a
similar experience as being forthrightly loved by many and strangers
for who they really are. people like boss need to understand that
people like me do not blame or hold any desire for retribution over
anyone, ever, and this is many massive cultures that are actually very
strong and respectable where people often risk death to protect what
is right, even if they themselves are not blameless, and can become
good at doing so.

and that bit about communicating with boss reveals a further, more
accurate, boss: preventing us from communicating to sustain their
confused way of life.