[ot][spam][crazy] email list statistics

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

nor am i trying to disrespect the list members in the two possible
ways i am worrying about:

- i said "i am not trying to fry the brains of the mailing list". this
is a horrible joke in that we all have had our brains fried by now,
and there is minimal acknowledgement of this. i am obviously
participating in worsening that by making the joke. formal apologies.
please try not to fry your brains worse because i suggested it, and
please try not to fry your brains worse because i asked you not to.

- i said "i often feel like my spam is intended to "quash" the other
posters into stopping posting". there is presently a lull in posting,
and over the last few years the posts have reduced more and more: for
me i've imagined that associated with struggle and suffering. i do not
mean to disrespect any stuggle and suffering, nor the fact that all
the hackers are missing from this hacker portal. it is again a
horrible and disrespectful joke that i even came onto this list with,
and have probably been engaging this joke in ways that harm people.
again, formal apologies.

I am apologising for this instance of these expressions. I am afraid I
have made similar expressions at many other times, and I am quite
regretful and sad around these, but I don't want to imply that i am
quite planning on stopping yet :S i guess i am hoping that the spam
tags can help assuage any torture i stimulate.