Morning Spam

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

Today my therapist repeatedly changed his tune on different things. He
said he was a man of integrity and honesty. I asked him about a time I
thought he had said he could not help me with human trafficking. He
said he thought he had said the opposite, I said I remembered he had
said he meant he could not help me traffick people, but he definitely
wanted to protect and empower me. He said he had spoken with many
rough people and often had to respond to people who thought it would
be normal to do horrible things. I repeated that okay, he had said he
thought I had wanted to traffick people, and he said he had never said
that. He said I was misunderstanding him. I asked how and he just said
I was. I was very confused because I was having to memorize things
across different dissociations to respond to him appropriately. I said
he said he was a man of integrity and honesty. He said he wasn’t, that
he sometimes didn’t do things that great and had people he went to in
those times to help, and that that was why he was a man of integrity
and honesty.
I was confused. Later I said to him, so you can help me with human
trafficking, and he said no he couldn’t: which he had said he said the
opposite to when I thought I had broght it up. He said that if I
experienced trauma from going through something rough, that he could
help me adjust to that. I said maybe recover from rather than adjust
to, and he said maybe. We parted in a friendly manner.

The expression above is not clear but it is helpful to me to write it.