[ot][spam][crazy] sad,frustrated about not writing code

Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many gmkarl at gmail.com
Sat May 14 03:34:58 PDT 2022

On Sat, May 14, 2022, 6:34 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of
Many <gmkarl at gmail.com> wrote:

> :) this stuff is reallt hard!
> I screamed at my therapist on thursday T_T . screaming is _really bad_
> when you have a psychosis. your poor brain doesn't know what are the things
> to do when stuff gets intense. it can take some time to come back, and you
> have to be careful to stay as grounded as you can. it can also be an
> opportunity for change, though.
> the therapist kept trying to get me to think of reasons my email name
> could be bad, using the habitual manipulative phrasing we all use when
> hoping others will improve. it was really hard for everyone. I was hoping
> we could talk about the reason I had set it, in the therapy, but that
> wasn't where it started :/

it was a hard day already. I had to really dissociate to make it to the
offices, and came without socks and wasn't sure who I was seeing for each

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