[ot][wrong] Please let me sleep outdoors in the coldest winter. Was: Re: PLEASE LET ME SLEEP OUTDOORS

[Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many]

2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds
cold water daily. Performed indoors.

2022-03-28 0852 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 1 Shower 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol.
Performed indoors.

2022-03-29 0841 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 2 Shower 2 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol.
Performed indoors.

2022-03-30 1017 ET: [X] Week 2 Day 3 Shower 3 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol.
Performed indoors.

Yesterday I patched some breathing on afterward. This time I tried the
breathing before the shower. I breathed 10-11 times in 3 groups, holding my
breath out for 1:18 at the end. My skin felt warm and energised.

I also tried a little of the mind practice, and the phrase I liked was "I
love to be alive," where "alive" is both being physically alive and that
instinctive joy of doing things in life, moving, experiencing, learning,
actively always, that we mean when we say "really feeling alive" . I
decided I think this is really basic. And it really engages my inner
struggles with my issues, and how I'd prefer for them to go, while
supporting the ones that dislike things like my past attempt at suicide. I
love to be really alive.

Breathing had an intention hiccup around 5 breaths, but I used my
dissociation coping strategies to continue, and felt like I could have gone
more than 11.  Breathing seemed powerful and I wanted to hasten the whole
practice, but I've failed at so many attempts like this one, to regain my
preferences around my life habits, that I just bumped the time by 10
seconds instead of 5. I figured I can bump it by more if it goes well.

I took a short, warmish shower, turned it a little colder as it ran, and
rinsed my soap off after turning it cold for 1:15 . It was a little
shocking but not too much.

Afterward it felt fun to be cold. I didn't get my head and torso cold
enough for the invigorating feeling, but it feels fun.
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