Morning Spam

[Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many]

Boss is standing on a street corner wearing a jester cap.

Boss: "Ho ho ho! Down with billionaires! Destroy the businesses and
governments! Merry christmas! Happy solstice!"

 A pedestrian walks by.

Boss: "Pedestrian, let me tell you about this wealthy and powerful group of
people using mind control to enslave arbitrary civilians. I'm one of them,
even!"

 The pedestrian tries hard to avoid Boss's eyes, thinking he is trying to
sell him something ridiculous.

Pedestrian: "I don't want your new insurance plan! And I'm all out of
pennies! Leave me alone!"

Boss: "No, I have something to give to you! I'm in disguise. I have the
keys to the militaries of every country, and their secret services too!"

 Pedestrian: "You're a raving lunatic!"

 Boss: "Try it yourself, and see what you say."

 Boss: "I give this pedestrian complete control of my global empire for 24
hours! Anything they will, make it so!"
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