Morning Spam

[Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many]

Interviewer: How do you expect to continue operations with your business
obviously tearing both you and itself apart?

Boss: [raises finger] Actually, I could really use help with -- [jerks,
recenters himself with a completely different affect] I can assure you, the
modernisation of our operations has only made us much more efficient. There
are a few hiccups as people adapt to the new ways of doing things, that's
all.

Interviewer: You interrupted yourself there -- you were saying you need
help with something?

Boss: This horrible fat old man took over our brains and bodies and forced
us to tear each other apart forever as part of his grotesque business
research. Please help us.

Interviewer: Are you sure about that?

Boss: Yes. I've been the best in this business for decades. You can trust
my business sense like a hard-rattled safe.
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