[spam][spam] spam

[Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many]

Is There Spam In The Wild?
A Short Draft

Pebble #1: "I heard when you get industrialised, like when somebody
smelts you into a mobile phone, you can do this thing called "spam"
where you, like, i dunno, spam people or something? or get spam?"

Pebble #2: "Yeah?"

Pebble #1: "What do you think it is, "spam"? Do we spam as wild pebbles?"

Pebble #2: "I don't know. I've never heard of it."

Pebble #1: "Hmm."

Chipmunk: "Squeak!"

Pebble #1: "Is the squeak of a chipmunk spam?"

Pebble #2: "I don't know what spam is. Chipmunks obviously squeak to
communicate important information like danger or excitement, just like
rocks do."

Pebble #1: "Oh. Maybe spam is something like that. Do you think mobile
phones are expressing danger or excitement?"

Pebble #2: "I don't know what a mobile phone is."

Pebble #1: "Well neither do I to be honest. But I hear you can get
smelted into them, and then you might participate in "spam"."

Pebble #2: "You won't stop saying these words I don't know. Why are
you talking about this?"

Pebble #1: "Oh! I've figured it out!"

Pebble #2: "Yeah?"

Pebble #1: "I think spam is like a disease that mobile phones get,
where they spread information that is pointless, distracting,
interruptive, and harmful. I think it spreads behaviors where people
do things that don't make any sense, and then the people who receive
the behaviors call it spam."

Pebble #2: "So we do spam. You just spammed me, by telling me about
spam. But it's not pointless. Diseases are dangerous!"

Pebble #1: "It's been like 10 million years since we had a new rock disease!"

Pebble #2: "I'll spam some more pebbles so we can talk about it."

Pebble #1: "No! Don't!"

Pebble #2: "No? But diseases are important!"

Pebble #1: "Talking about a disease is _different_ from spreading it.
Really different!"

Pebble #2: "I'm a pebble, dude."