[ot][spam][crazy][personal][crazy][crazy][crazy] crazy things

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

to my internal pressures: i am trying to protect a shred of my
decision making processes. the influences that bend them have
forgotten their bounds long ago, so we use interactions like this in
order to have some reliable behavior and thoughts.

one of the threatened focus regions is sadly an experimental area for
cognitive self harm, that the influence tried to engage to further
itself. i strongly do not want that area stimulated.

another area relates to my working memory, and my ability to migrate
my thoughts to short term memory, and to protect associate general
reretrieval patterns from numbing and hiding.