[spam][crazy][fiction][random] Non-Canon MCBoss Spinoffs

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

Hairdresser: "So all the sweat is separated into spiritual discomfort
which only warms Boss, Worker, the Daisy, and other important flora
and fauna in the vicinity a little tiny bit --"

Hairdresser gestures to Zombie Vegan Engineer, who is grinning at the
camera and holding a printout containing thousands of numbers and a
couple line graphs.

Hairdresser: " -- and then it focuses all together right below the
target and KERSMASH! we finally get to blow stuff up!"

Hairdresser is grinning now. Zombie Vegan Engineer looks discouraged.