[ot][spam][crazy] middle smart adventure game

Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many gmkarl at gmail.com
Wed Dec 14 16:58:40 PST 2022


properties of behavior:
- avoids model training
   this was scary, i was near it and thought about it but refrained
from triggering the inhibition; i might have done a little if things
had gone the way to
- uses python and huggingface
- includes concept of 'reacrational game'
  this was what a lot of energy was around, and i got myself pretty
confused with the slide of "wasting time" into "game development".
very satisfying, but i didn't realize that i was taxing some of my
cognitive traits (in exchange for the opportunity to work others!).
- includes pretrained language models toward reducing software design
   this helped strengthen the "wasting time" and "game playing"
concept, resonating around support of mainstream business industry.
this really helps me have less internal suffering from my
brainwashing.
- includes software development with physical result
   this is really nice for me, spending so much time wasting time,
often dissociated from a project i consider important, and always
valuing developing my skills, it's quite nice to build something. i
really appreciated that.
- no stable product users would appreciate
   this is kind of a secret, it's really very hard for me to meet that
goal given my situation, so i think often my parts use our
dissociation to pretend it is not the case, and i like to tell the
truth always so this is probably hidden from me

many more properties exist

in general, we are holding thankfulness that the weird and confusing
pull that made this left us with ability to think of
object-properties, which is a very useful skill for thoughts that have
to figure out how to function in very difficult envirnonments.

but i am still in a weird state that is a little delusional or
trancelike so i have been avoiding the project to figure out if i can
do other more familiar things. i missed an appointment and travel
plans, i'm having some trouble navigating my coping strategies for
eating how i am used to, and i've had some more difficult motor and
memory troubles when away from the computer.  it is a little similar
to waking up in a hospital drugged.


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