[spam][crazy][fiction][random] Non-Canon MCBoss Spinoffs

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

Confused Gardener: "My niece is -- I mean I'm surveilling my vegetable
garden to make sure the vegetables don't rebel."
Visitor: "Shouldn't you know how to manage the surveillance device if
it's you surveilling it?"
Confused Gardener: "Honestly I'm just trying to talk about how scared I am!"

Experimentee Utopia Diplomat: "We heard you are scared."
Confused Gardener: [points at the surveillance camera]

<there are so many concepts here at once! it's somehow different
holding that now.>