[ot][personal] cult reading notes

[Undiscussed Groomed for Male Slavery, One Victim of Many]

blargh i am such an idiot. anyway

> "To ready a person for radical change, their reality must first be shaken up. Their indoctrinators must confuse and disorient them. Their frames of refrence for understanding themselves and their surroundings must be challenged and broken down. Upsetting their view of reality disarms their natural defenses against concepts that challenge that reality."

- usually sleep deprivation is simplest; changes in diets and
schedules. easiest in a totally controlled environment, also works in
familiar environments. hypnotic processes also powerful.

- particularly effective hypnotic technique: deliberate use of
confusion to induce a trance state. confusion usually results whenever
contradictory information is communicated congruently.

There's a semi-familiar example here:

[warning: dangerous:] "The more you try to understand what I am
saying, the less you will never be able to understand it. Do you
understand?"
Comments before reading on: the sentence describes its own impact. It
stimulates the mind to try to connect parts of speech in a way that is
contradicatory, while holding the assumption that it is _not_
contradictory. I have a certain response to such expressions, after my
experiences.

I'm interested to map out the parts, and this will result in my inner
habits changing because of my triggers to it. I plan to do it later,
during a state of mind when I am familiar with grappling with such
things, and for some reason and am now changing and trying it now.
Time limit: 4 minutes.

. the less you will never be able to understand it. <- this phrase
contains two overlapping disjoint phrasese: "the less you will" and
"you will never be able to understand it". when the mind tries to
consider the whole thing together, it considers that it could be
_either_ of the two phrases. it does this in the context of assuming
that there is a problem in the sentence: that considering it more may
make it more complex. it also does it in the context of discerning
whether or not the sentence is understandable, and trying to
understand it. i might guess that there is more subconscious effort to
try to understand it, because both of the conjoined phrases are simple
and familiar.
- the literal meaning of the phrase i believe would refer to a degree
of neverness with regard to understanding itself. hence, the whole
statement would express that trying to understand the phrase
stimulates reduced neverness in understanding it. This is, at the end,
a basic tautology regarding the general impact of trying to understand
it.
- when considering it, the phrase "you will never be able to
understand it" sticks out in the mind. to me, this can seem impactful
and frightening, and for some reason i respond to it be by halting and
restarting my considering
- the fact that the phrase refers to itself in a confusing way, i
imagine spawning non-relevant thoughts that kind of, in the mind,
"look for" a way to conclude, but out of context. i imagine these as
being easy to influence or ready to connect to something that could
make them make more sense even a little, even if that thing does not
make a larger sense.
- given the statement is a confusing tautology that leaves people
disoriented, i kind of read it as being a bit of a secret message
between hypnotists controlling others, maybe joking about fragility of
the minds of people who haven't learned hypnotism.

that was a lot of spewing! part of me still goes back to the sentence
and wants to reconsider its parts, especially the ones that make
partial sense and then halt when the context gets larger in my mind,
and that then kind of restart and do it again; even though i think i
wrote all my immediate thoughts. i could drill in more on that
sidespreadish i'm experiencing, but it looks more like i'm engaging a
habit of doing something in my mind other than simply considering the
sentence.

- "if a person is kept in a controlled environment long enough, and is
repeatedly fed such disorienting language and confusing information,
they will usually suspend their critical judgment and adapt to what
everyone else is doing."

- "bombarded by emotionally laden material at a rate faster than they
can digest it." ... "may think this is happening spontaneously within
themselves, but the cult has intentionally structured it that way"

- in addition to confusion, unfreezing can involve rituals that
increase in strength (privacy deprivation aligns this with unfreezing
and confusion). in my personal experiences and ideas, i've found
rituals like this during an experience of unfreezing can actually help
"refreeze the unfreezing" -- such that the mind establishes the
unfrozen state as more of a norm and can take much longer to return.
other personal thoughts: it seems to me that our memory sustains
itself in cycles. when a person can be kept in altered states, where
our consciousness goes to rest changes, and this changes the patterns
that are driven by those cycles. i describe this internally as e.g.
migration from working memory to short term memory, daydreams,
worries, "reviews" of memories to develop them, migration of short
term memories to long term memories ... . this thematically aligns
with the changes to my abilities to cry and to relax, too, maybe also
creative expression or even brainstorming.

> regarding group rituals, but shows this goal, and the association could be a mistake: "enforces privacy deprivation and thwarts a person's need to be alone, think and reflect." privacy deprivation was a huge catalyst in my mind control; anywhere i went, people would be there. this had never happened in my life ever before. even after hours at my closed storage unit, or pulled over by the side of a road in the woods. by the time i found actual prtivacy i had learned to always internalise anxiety around being followed, and didn't believe it was there. people would approach me out of nowhere ...

- book says cults usually heavily criticise, embarass or such people
in some way, towards the end of unfreezing, heavily questioning
whether their current state is reasonable

- "changing" then involves filling the voice left by unfreezing, with
new information. messages repeated heavily.

- i'm imagining developing a sense of normalness and reward around the
"changing" messaging. as if it becomes the way to not have the
disorientation of the unfreezing. [at an extreme, like my experience
of my feet freezing altering my state of consciousness, giving me a
desire to connect to anything to resolve things]

- ow: "Surrender. Let go. Have faith."  [this is a triggery phrase for
me, it seemed to me it was used as described in the book. people need
to honor the reasons they have their existing ways. that doesn't
necessarily mean rejecting new ones: it means including what makes
sense. "let go" can be so helpful when people are in a safe
environment that is either natural or in line with their culture etc;
but it can be so bad when experiencing [undue influence], which can be
everywhere, especially in some environments. the movie "frozen"
happened after the "great new world" began, and uses "let go" in a way
children could likely copy and get excited around. children need their
willpower. somebody at disney got "let go" and shared it with an
entire generation. /rant omigod]

- starts gradually

- i received a phone call and it is hard for me to process the
material after the call

- rhythmicnes of lectures induces more hypnotic/sleepy state, which
makes the recipient more receptive to the changing

- book describes surprise of knowing unshared information as
indicating mindreading, rather than surveillance

- one cult leader paid muggers to engage recruits, to increase their
fear outside the cult

- being completely surrounded by indoctrinated members engages strong
group psychology. ["people who ask too many questions are quickly
isolated from the main body of other members"]

- norm across cults of dividing people into "good sheep" and
"troublesome goats" overtly.

- "sharing" sessions teach conformity via positive/negative feedback
... behavior modification. [this also gives a lot of detail on the
individual]

- refreezing. can take days to months to form new cult self, can also
take longer
- "an individual's memory becomes distorted, minimizing the good
things in the past and maximizing their sins, failings, hurts and
guilt"; maybe relates to beliefs held during memory cycling
- dramatic public actions, confessions, other rituals, server to
abandon old ways and become embedded in cult
- copying behaviors of others
- new sense of who one's parent, family is ['redefining family' again]
- changes. name, clothing, haircut. reduces memories of past [changes
locus of stability]. learn a distinctive jargon to speak.
- huge life change such as turning over money and other possessions.
"it would be too painful to admit that this was a foolish mistake";
harshens disparity, produces dependency
- "consistency is an important aspect of influence"
- can be many months of sleep deprivation, lack of privacy, and
dietary change. may be relocated.
- job established proselytizing: recruiting others firms one's beliefs

- dependency is built
- it is in refreezing when a harsh disparity is constructed between
one's new way of life, and one's own, maybe reducing the storage, use,
access of memories prioviding for considering both ways and changing
one's mind [possibly stimulates amnesia around previous life]
- sustained dissonance of some forms or regarding older life, while
consistency in something new
- extended behaviors of martyrdom such as 24-hour fundraising without shelter

- indoctrination then repeated over a few years. then they train others.

- cult members have two identities: the cult self and the private
authentic self. this is weirdest when they are first indoctrinated
- the flip between the behaviors is clear to the experienced
- cult identity usually present, occasionally old self reappears

my experiences over these years are similar to the unfreezing,
changing, refreezing. my inability to access friends or people with
similar values or similar work, the radical difference in the
interactions and my new way of life. these things would make
integration much harder. the weirdness on this list could be seen as
like the dissonance in indoctrination programs that is associated with
old ways of life. we forget how it used to be, and slowly start
participating in whatever is new.

- author describes cult personas as talking like "tape loops" of cult
material. affect is strikingly different and fits a mind control
profile. authentic self heavily deviated from profile.
- "mid-sentence, a different identity has taken over their body".
[recognizing this described as key to helping people]

> "mind control virus"
> "the hardware (self) ... sees and records contradictions, questions, and disilusioning experiences"

this is of course getting harder, more amnesia. i imagine somewhat the
cult persona as telling itself a story over and over again, and this
story fading or mutating if not reinforced. i think of how the mind
needs logic in order to do basic activities in the world: and this
logic could be thought of as an undercurrent to illogical ongoing
things.

> "even hough they knew at the time that they were doing soemthing wrong or were being abused ... it was only when their real self was given permission and encouragement to speak that these things came back into consciousness"
- "bringing that person's own experiences into the light, so that they
can process them consciously with their real self."

- real self is key

- serious psychosomatic illnesses (skin problems, asthma, allergies,
headaches, backaches, chronic fatugie, are just a few) ... real self
can use as ways to provide exit [no mention yet of these stimulating
to deter exit]
- backwards talking: please do not contact professional counselor;
reveals such counselors exist, raises the topic. [backwards talking
provides for people to comply and communicate at the same time]
- nightmares regarding being lost, hurt, trapped, choked, suffocated,
imprisoned in concentration camp.  ... real self encouraging leaving
[inverse not mentioned yet] powerful spiritual experiences giving
instructions on how to leave
- experiences leaving can seem like divine intervention [yup]. author
left cult in way mother was praying, somehow.

- after people are free, they cry in joy