[ot][wrong] Please let me sleep outdoors in the coldest winter. Was: Re: PLEASE LET ME SLEEP OUTDOORS

[Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many]

2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds
cold water daily. Performed indoors.

2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower
at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and
discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before

2022-04-14 thru 2022-04-15: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, ramped up in
five second intervals from 5 seconds to 30 seconds, every time I ate

2022-04-16 thru 2022-04-22: [X] Ramped up from 35 seconds through 60
seconds, in 5 second intervals, every time I ate

> 2022-04-22 1930 ET: [X] 65 seconds


2022-04-23 1130 ET: [X] 1:05

Still harder than last month. But I'm feeling confident with my consistency.

My funny experiences stepped in around when 60-65 seconds hit. I fumbled
the timer and did it a few seconds longer than planned, and they came in
and it felt really cold suddenly.

2022-04-23 1714 ET: [X] 1:05 cold water, indoors, no food, no cookie
difficulty: easy-medium

I thought I'd stop eating immediately with showering to get myself to do
it, if it seemed reasonable, since the instructions said not to do the
breathing it seemed there was likely value around not needing the food.

In retrospect it was a bad time to stop a reinforcement because the first
4-5 timing devices I tried for measuring the time had mysteriously stopped
functioning in some way or another. So I'm on the raspberry pi now instead
of a phone, for editing this email.

The shower wasn't too hard, but the difficulty timing it is worrisome.
Gotta keep it smooth and continuing. I was happy going some seconds over
the time.

2022-04-24 0907 ET: [X] 1:05 cold water, food after completion, indoors
Difficulty: easy-medium

Refraining from eating until afterward.

It takes a little conscious effort to adapt to the cold water when it turns
cold, which is interesting.

Weather is warming and air is getting warmer. Thinking of keeping ice near
the shower to cool the air a little.

Upping time to 1:10 .

2022-04-24 1416 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors
Difficulty: medium

2022-04-24 1809 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors
Difficulty: medium

I was anxious and stayed in the warm water first for some time. Then turned
it cold and used that nascent willpower to handle the chill.

The ability to direct my attitude around the temperature has been
developing slowly and shakily. I've had a big problem with willpower;
engaging it can cause psychotic issues. But here it's been gently growing
in part of me, feeling different from the big issues. Very rare and hopeful.

I got cold in the water and got goosebumps this time. The alarm went off
and I tried to consciously engage the attitude thing again, and with huge
relief succeeded this once on more of my own schedule. I stayed a few
seconds past.

I've been struggling in other diverse ways, but I was wondering if the
chilliness was from adapting to warmer air as the weather warms. Not
certain, as the water still feels warm compared to when it seemed colder
than my earlier hot showers.

2022-04-25 1623 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors
Difficulty: medium-easy

I was thinking how warm it was and did this. I didn't use much warm water
prior, which I consider for a reason it felt colder than usual.

2022-04-26 0710 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors
Difficulty: medium-easy

The biggest issue was starting, which is still worrisome.

I took a longer warm shower prior because I wanted to bathe.

I stayed under some seconds after and got the icecream headache.

It seems past time to up the length, but it's been a big struggle
initiating it. Not certain. The cold water inhibition wants my food urge to
separate from it, it's easier to eat prior than after. I was thinking of
tracking when and how much I eat, to take migrating off it slowly and
purposefully like the water. Unsure.

2022-04-26 1444 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water with food
Difficulty: medium

I had a very little food before, which helped immensely in starting. I then
skipped the warm water mostly, and the cold water was very cold! Icecream
headache quickly, goosebumps.

I'm still thinking of just upping it to 1:15.

-> entries from the 26th through the 28th lost due to editing gmail draft
on multiple systems with intermittent connectivity. on the 27th I had only
one meal. during most of the period I was struggling and confused. <-

2022-04-28 1119 ET: [X] 1:15 cold water with food after, indoors
Difficulty: medium-easy

I'm exploring developing a little willpower with regard to resisting the
cold. This time I decided to try less hard and just get used to it, which
seemed to work ok as well.

2022-04-28 1644 ET: [X] 1:15 cold water with food after, indoors
Difficulty: medium-easy

Still pretty cold, but easier to do. Upping to 1:20.

2022-04-29 0936 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water prior to food, indoors
Difficulty: medium-easy

I almost forgot to log this one.
It was still very cold to start, but 1:20 seemed like a very short time.

2022-04-29 1117 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water prior to food, indoors
Difficult: medium

It got a little hard to log.

I added some orange slices to my food which seems to help. Warming the food
helps too.

I was thinking of how close I am to being back to 1:30! Take it gently, be
confident.
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