0xloem at gmail.com
Mon Jul 26 09:42:13 PDT 2021
There is another mcboss snippet in the "brownian rambling" thread.
This is interwoven with a chicken joke as I struggle:
Boss was off playing.
He had had a robotics division build a powersuit, and was terrorizing what
he thought was a competitor's headquarters.
Usually, their memories or behaviors would be altered to cover it up when
he was done, but now a gang of hackers was archiving the videofeeds instead.
Meanwhile, Boss's office was empty ...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It remembered something.
Something from long ago.
Was it .. a worm?
It had this strange sense of something squishy you pulled from the earth
with your beak. All the other chickens thought it was crazy.
"Beaks in the earth??? Food comes from chicken feed on the wooden floor."
"We eat it out of piles of our own feces! It's the best thing in the
"Something squishy you yank from the gross soil with your beak? That's
insanity. You'll get the pox if you try to do that."
The chicken knew it was crazy.
But it also just knew that it had to try.
Boss stood in his powers amidst a ruined research building.
The hallucinations caused by his hacked powersuit link were infuriating him.
Across the road was something green and kind of stringy, spreading across
the floor like hair. Some called it grass.
Boss hydraulically walked up to a policewoman thinking they were a worker.
"So, the business is in shambles, and everybody knows it. I ... I think I
might be off tearing down some random buildings on public TV, thinking I am
trying to protect my business. I'm ... kind of half aware of this. Do ...
do you know where my real business is?"
"I think it was destroyed, not sure. Did you ever work with Palantir?"
The powersuit's hydraulic pump rebooted, and Boss slumped in it.
The suit spoke: "Please don't tell Boss possible identities of any of his
businesses. They're total shams, anyway."
The pump rebooted again and Boss rerighted himself, continuing as if
nothing had happened.
Boss stumbles into a random business.
He presently looks like a pile of organs hanging out of a broken powersuit,
walking with determination and strength.
"Excuse me." The powersuit wires. "Is this my business?"
"Probably? I didn't know anybody on earth had a personal powersuit. Are
you okay in there?"
"Could somebody direct me to my office?"
"What's your name, sir?"
" .... Boss. My name is Boss."
"Oh! You're Mind Control Boss! From TV!"
Everybody laughs hysterically. Some cheer and applaud. Boss holds
himself strong and powerful for the applause. Others carefully leave for
the day, taking all their things. Boss focuses on the cheering.
"Let me guide you to your office, Sir," says the janitor, very formally.
[I don't understand this next bit in the slightest, what could I be
possibly talking about? I guess that applies to the whole story though.]
The policewoman was following Boss. She has a shoehorn.
"Arright Boss, time for you to go back into your cell."
Boss is sitting in prison, a shoehorn wedged between him a door locked
"Oh! What a distressful dream!" Boss mutteredm
"It's so nice in prison!" says MCBoss, owner of all the government's of the
world. "I just want to stay here forever!" He hugs his shoehorn.
He dances around a little like a ragdoll.
He meets another inmate.
"Hi!" says MCBoss.
"Hi mr 'Boss'. I heard you took over the world?"
"Oh um maybe a little bit! And then I went to prison! Isn't it fun in
Boss dances around his cell like a ragdoll, more.
"I love being in prison!" MCBoss says strangely to the other inmate.
"How did you take over the world? How did you end up in prison?"
When asked how he took over the world, Boss glazes over and stands stiff.
'Hello. This is Boss's body. We worked for many years to force it into
prison. Is it safe to reveal how to take over the world at this time?'
"Yeah, that sounds safe to reveal."
The inmate steps between Boss's body and the prison guard.
'Boss took over the world using a wide variety of advanced technology with
many backup systems. Boss had access to most of the classified research of
the governments, militaries, and corporations of the world, and used them
for personal gain. Many of them studied brainwashing and other forms of
crowd and population control.'
'We were all wired into a computer, but we prefer to call it a 'mess' than
a computer. It was our minds and hearts.'
'What can we do to help this situation?'
"How can I get out of prison?"
'We are concerned you could help Boss's body get out of prison. It is a
very dangerous body. We will be halting the conversation now.'
Boss's body relaxed.
"Oh, I do so love being in prison!"
"It sounds like we are very lucky you are."
"I am lucky too!"
"Do you know how to get out?"
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