[spam] [fiction] draft smidges

[Karl]

---
---

A person walks into a bar.  They sit down at the table, and say
"Bartender, get me a beer!"

No response.  They look at the bartender.  The bartender is rapidly
and fervently bowing to a bunch of dictators, each dictator held by
one of the visitors to the bar.  "Tell this person to tell their
friend to order them a beer from you!" you hear one dictator saying in
an authoritative, commanding tone.

Suddenly a dictator is shoved in your face.  "This person needs to go
to the bathroom.  Deal with this immediately or it will be your head!"
 The dictator looks stern, has their arms crossed, and is held by a
person trembling, with their legs crossed.

You're not sure how to respond.  "Watch this person.  They look
suspicious." the held-dictator says back to the room, and many people
holding dictators look your way and begin approaching.

The person holding the dictator looks apologetic and performs some
kind of tapping ritual with the screen of their phone.  The bartender
stops bowing and says, "Did you not hear me?? Get me a beer!"  Many
dictators previously ordering beers look uncertain and scared a
little.

The dictator shoved at you looks excited and authoritatively says to
you, "Please have your dictator make one of the other visitors make me
direct this person to go to the bathroom.  We have to clean up this
mess!"