[spam] [monologue]

[Karl]

When you have to dissociate wildly to survive, if you struggle enough
you can learn to go to places associated with freedom.  You don't
really know what to do when you go there.  You may not even remember
why you are there.  And obviously your slavers will have messed the
place up by the time you get there, unless you kill them first.  But
you know it's good to be there.  And you know if you keep on going and
thinking, that you'll eventually figure it out.  Maybe there's
somewhere better to go.

My therapist doesn't let me record.  Neither does the one he
recommended.  And he discourages me from talking to other therapists,
and said he needs a record of whether I am on meds or not.  I should
find a better therapist.  I should also talk to the advocate more.

And I should hang out in an anarchist community that's real.  They're
all used to being messed up anyway.

On 2/23/21, Karl <gmkarl at gmail.com> wrote:
> [draft draft draft]
>
> cleanup worker / formerly gov worker, to
> experimentation-victim-leading-secret-megacorp:
>     [let's go to rebel/spy cafe, we always hang out there] {was boss's
> orders, but given by a rebel}
>
> [[amnesia around most of this]]
>
> oh!  this is the galaxy we sent the bacteria to!  the real live galaxy!
>     another life [human expderimentaiton victim] part squeals in
> excitement: workaholic!!!!!
>           [uses cigar-likeness to blow smoke in the face of mind
> controlled state worker and tells them to inhale.  worker is relaxed
> to be among boss again, at rebel cafe.]
>
> a casual encounter immediately obeys the victims, who occasionally use
> "superpowers" in ways that are similar to normal things but very wrong
> in order to handle their truama (like morphing into a chair with a leg
> missing to hide at being talked to and politely greeted, or levitating
> something that would normally be manually manipulated to make a
> relaxing enviornment similar to recordings of relaxing environments]
>
>         [rebel cafe-goer treated the mush of organs like a charismatic
> human being they wanted to immediately please] [after
> obedience-to-vivisection-victim-relation with normal rebel cafe-goer,
> vivisection victim tells mind controlled state worker]: "nobody can
> see us and everybody obeys us because we used to be boss's
> augmentations."
>
> [scene switches to cafe topic]
>
>     [when dictatorsoft is engaged, the vivisection victims perform the
> work with their body, suddenlyt acting like personal servants and then
> reverting to whatever htey were doing, with nobody minding or
> noticing]
>