Yesterday was USA Freedom Day, hope it was freeing at least a little [ot] [karl story]
gmkarl at gmail.com
Tue Feb 2 02:29:33 PST 2021
Yesterday I posted a small celebration of freedom day, and a link to a
USA human trafficking hotline, where "human trafficking" is synonymous
with "coercive slavery" and "hotline" is synonymous with "rescue
Here is a little bit of my story. I used to be a software developer
and an activist, and I was coercively brainwashed and enslaved to
prevent activism. I am a straight male in my 30s.
I contacted that hotline maybe 7 years ago. I was scared of freedom
and didn't contact them again for many years. I did give the contact
information to somebody else I knew, and this person's life improved
afterwards. They got a job and an apartment, somehow. Additionally,
a new rescue group was started in that city a few years later, which
previously didn't have one. I don't know whether I influenced those
things happening or not.
Last year I contacted that hotline again. I just said I needed a
therapist, that was all. When they asked questions, instead of
disconnecting, I related my emotional experiences, like "I know it is
wrong to try to be free," and they had nice, comforting replies to
give, that took me out of the control reality: "I don't think that is
wrong. I think it shows you are brave and strong." I had never heard
anybody say anything like that before.
I did this via text messaging. I tried calling their voice line
sometimes, but the automated menu and hold times were scary and
confusing for me. I imagined that if I were borrowing a phone from a
stranger to contact them, like most people without resources would
have to, that long hold times could make it very hard to get in touch.
I ended up mostly using text messaging, which is easier for me anyway.
It was hard to follow things through. They were available to
recontact me and check in, and help me make phone calls. They did
most of the phone calling for me. Calling people is hard for me,
especially regarding this topic. We connected me with an organisation
in my area for domestic violence, at a pace I was in control of.
These people gave me an advocate, who consistently says they are
available to help me. They didn't seem to need me to say I had
experienced violence or anything, they were just the local resource.
I had to do a lot of the reaching out myself, often repeatedly. But
it does seem the resources are very real. They don't seem to
understand a lot of the issues; heck, neither do I.
I have not really followed up further. I kept telling the people I
wanted to try to do things on my own, which is much slower and harder.
Maybe I said that a little too much, maybe not, I don't know. Most of
the therapists we found related that they were unavailable. I ended
up accidentally contacting a non-recommended therapist and having
therapy with them for a bit. Still, it was nice to have a therapist
that I found on my own with rescue services, rather than one assigned
me who never seemed willing to talk about anything.
I am still looking for a therapist who lets me video-record myself
during therapy, to help me preserve evidence of what happened to me as
I obsessively convince myself that it never did. That is one of my
next goals for when I find avenues through my strange alternate states
that let me contact these people again.
Hope you are well. Thank you for blockchains. The permanence of
confirmed information on their chains is obviously something I
strongly appreciate. I hope others can make use of this some day,
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