There is another automated system that can control crowds of people.

Karl gmkarl at
Sat May 2 10:34:02 PDT 2020

> Hi, Karl.  Nice to meet you.  I think you already know my name is Cecilia
> Tanaka and I hope this message can help you a little bit.

It's calming to meet you, Ceci.

> When someone very cruel mentions my death, my temperamental health, or my
> physical fragility, saying I will die soon, I simply (try to) ignore.  It
> happened last week again, when I was trying to help a person who wrote to
> the hackerspace begging for attention.  It was unexpected and painful, but
> I do not care about dying.  I only care about my loved ones.  So I live
> pretty far from my family to keep them safe.

I do not expect either of us to die or suffer.  I've been in touch
with my family, which has been both very tense but also mutually
supportive; maybe I should try harder to stay away.  My parents seem
to like the idea of kind of preparing for an eventual death in a way
that supports their children.

> When I am in a chaotical moment, when my body just wants to die, I use
> several alarms to keep me alive.  Alarms for meals, for drinking water, for
> taking medicines, for taking showers, for sleeping, and also for waking
> up.  You are the master of your body, so please keep it working in a
> satisfactory way.

I used to use alarms.  They don't work for me anymore.

But I have found that when I rely on my fears to push me ["eventually
I must get so hungry and starved that I eat"], my body eventually
steps up and gets me food or something.  Generally faster than I've
fasted for sport in the past (which is multiple days).

> Remember:  -  You need hydration, food, and sleep to keep alive and sane.
> Please, try to keep your sanity.  You will need it to destroy companies and
> governments in the future.

<3  Please nurture your wellness, too.

> I love World of Warcraft, thank you a lot for your anonymous efforts.  You
> love games.  I think I have no many good things in this moment.

I have great memories of playing a night elf druid in that game.  I
like to discuss world peace, how to heal people who are in pain, how
to thrive through situations that seem like emergencies, and how
computer technology and/or human communities can both be used to do
absolutely anything, too.

> Hmm, I think I still have some cyberpunk games, like Orwell, but now it
> would not be healthy for you.  It made me feel afraid of the future the
> same way like "COVID-1984".  A pandemia was the perfect excuse to all the
> governments spy our activities and I do hate this horribly crazy dystopia.

I was involved in the national spread of mutual aid networks near the
USA during the start of covid-19.  It was pleasant to have a little
support from the government to network anarchists together.  Many of
them were doing silly things like growing mushrooms when they used to
be stimulating mass community action.

Games are harder for me now because all my technology breaks and I
hold it together with piles of improvised repairs and workarounds.
But I'll look up Orwell; it's so nice to see things that pretend we
can talk freely about danger and its solutions.

> Do you like books, comics, movies, series, jokes, music, something I can
> (try to) get for you?  Sorry, I don't know anything about you, but I want
> to help you to calm yourself.  Already had very stressful moments and
> surviving to them alone is always hard.

Right now TV shows and community coding projects for the linux console
in C/C++/nodejs/python, are what are easiest in my situation.  Movies,
games, and cell phone apps too.

When I'm not experiencing something intense I work on a hobby AI,
right now.  Such things are for sharing with people who demonstrate
wise compassion in a way that can grow.

> Search for comfortable things.  Comfy food, those easy foods to take like
> soups, yoghurt, sandwiches, etc;  comfy drinks like no-caffeine tea, hot
> chocolate, pure water, fresh juices;  and try to relax your mind reading,
> listening music, doing something that you really appreciate. Writing,
> drawing, painting, coding, having sex and/or masturbation...

Thank you.  Please keep the same up.  Try also new environments;
pleasant new things can stimulate the nurturing of the mind.  I like

> Don't forget to sleep, please.  It's very important.  When I don't sleep,
> after three days, my writing and my memory become so confused, living is so
> strange...  The sensation is scarier than you can imagine.

I can't know your experience.  I've gotten used to the fun visions
where sharp objects dismember me and I can't make my own decisions
enough to act on it or even have consistent memories during it; I like
to imagine it is like anarchic organizing rather than government
control, of my thoughts and body.

> Feel free to contact me in private and keep breathing, Karl.  Just remember
> I am not online in all moments.

What do you dream of, Ceci?  Everything is possible.

I'll try to contact you unless you change your mind.  Gmail is a
little hard for me right now, I am better with text messages and face
book and the linux terminal, and I haven't set up imap yet, because I
get so excited about archiving my mail on a blockchain that I get


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