Bears can swim - (⌐■_■) -- Re: "He's not the Messiah, he's just a very naughty Russian!" -- Re: Moar Woar Poarn - Fw: Raqqa drift! Oh yeah :D

[Zig the N.g]

Who knew bears ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ could swim?

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    ▄▄██▌█ TOOT TOOT
 ▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ ICBM DELIVERY   ʕ⌐■_■ʔ
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 ▀(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀


Impressive stuff:

   Russia's Newest Cutting Edge Submarine, the Supe-Quiet, Nuke Carrying 'Prince Vladimir'
   https://russia-insider.com/en/cool-video-russias-newest-cutting-edge-submarine-supe-quiet-nuke-carrying-prince-vladimir/ri30674



And a good collection of ASCII 'moticonicons - check out #825 :

   List of All ASCII Emoticons
   https://upli.st/l/list-of-all-ascii-emoticons

   https://yandex.com/images/search?text=russian%20ascii%20tart




----- Forwarded message -----
> For some reason, American military personnel always seem to be looking for "more action", actually I mean "more paperwork".  HA!
> 
> 
>   US wingman to pilot: "Do NOT look directly up!"
> 
>   US pilot looks directly up: "OHH, SHEEIT!"
> 
>   US Wingman: "More f#@kin paperwork!"
> 
> 
> Russkies Go Wild, inverted in fact.  Literally inverted, dancing the midday clouds.  Yeah, baby!  :D
> 
> Gringos gettin' "really quite frustrated" and the Pentagon "blasted" the Russian show-off "Red menace's" for "activity", apparently activity in the skies of the Mediterranean sea :D
> 
> [suitable pics in original article, not attached]
> 
> On this particular occasion, the Russian pilot considered sharing his 4 litre "8 shots" vodka bottle with the Americans, but figured the wind force on his airplane canopy might make it hard to hold that canopy open - at 900 km per hour.  Also, passing a vodka bottle between jet planes whilst inverted may have caused some of the vodka to spill, which was an intolerable likelihood.  Apparently.
> 
> 
>   Russian Jet Buzzes US Navy Plane In High-Speed 'Inverted Maneuver' Over Mediterranean
>   https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/russian-jet-buzzes-us-navy-plane-high-speed-inverted-maneuver-over-mediterranean
> 
>       .. “The U.S. aircraft was operating consistent with international law and did not provoke this Russian activity,” the statement added.
>       ..
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, yeah, fill in your paperwork already :) :)
> 
> 
> 
> On Thu, Feb 20, 2020 at 11:43:41AM +1100, Zig the N.g wrote:
> > Gets a little crazy on the roads o' Raqqa, muh stucco muffas :)
> > 
> > How it truly went down:
> > 
> >   US0: "These fuckin' Syrians put a fuckin' country round our oil field - how DARE they!"
> > 
> >   US1: "Yeah, fuckin' sand niggers!"
> > 
> > 
> >   [Russkie's literally start to approach on highway, from behind.]
> > 
> >   RU0: "Ho, boys! Amerikanski oil "protectors" ahead. What do we?"
> > 
> >   RU1: "Ohoh! Drift this Tigr, baby - We's Baaaack!!"
> > 
> >   [serious literal military vehicle fast and furious ensues - see links below]
> > 
> >   [Russkies take first hummer, start hunting down second...]
> > 
> >   US0: "Muthufuckas! We got Russkies, lads, hang on tight!"
> > 
> >   [US2-4 happy they remembered "low frequency protection unit" adult diapers this morning.]
> > 
> > 
> >   RU0: "YEEEEE HAAAAAAW FIRETRUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!!"
> > 
> >   US1: [death gripping handle bar] "Oahhhh shiiiiit - why you driving offroaoad, buddy?!#!"
> > 
> >   US0: "Don't be a fuckin nigger! I think she'll make it - roadside don't look too fuckin rough."
> > 
> > 
> >   RU1: [grinning madly out side window at US hummer boys]
> >        "Baby, yeah! Lose you we will!"
> >        [to Ru0:] "SHIT! Watch locals, brutha!"
> > 
> >   [Russians narrowly miss a local who jumps out of the way]
> > 
> > 
> >   RU0: "May be lose them, but anuddah Oil thief pass we must!"
> > 
> >   RU1: "NO breaks, brutha! Do your copyright 'Boris Oil Thief Wedgy' manouver! Baby, yeah!"
> > 
> >   RU0: "Got it, brutha!" [hits accelerator hard, wedges all 3 vehicles as they come to screaming halt]
> >   [poetic license, not quite what actually happened, but part of upcoming movie script]
> > 
> > 
> >   US0: "HEY MUTHAFUCKAS WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK ARE YA DOING!"
> > 
> >   US1: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK - Fucking PAPERWORK! FUCK YOU RUSSKIE!!"
> > 
> >   RU0: [cracks a 4L vodka bottle] "Here, drink have you, brutha!"
> > 
> >   RU1: [with huge cat eatin grin] "Awww, done cry little oil thief! Vodka take your paperwork away - HA HA HAAAA!"
> > 
> >   US0+1: "FUCK!!!"
> > 
> > 
> > [See second 'tube below for Syrian villagers warmly welcoming American "democracy bringers" - with multiple gun shots :D]
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > ----- Forwarded message -----
> > 
> > Date: Thu, 20 Feb 2020 11:12:28 +1100
> > Subject: Raqqa drift! Oh yeah :D
> > 
> > Enjoy ;)
> > 
> > https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/bizarre-road-rage-among-superpowers-incident-syria-caught-film
> > 
> > ----- End forwarded message -----
>