Bernie Sanders is (literally, according to CNN) a Russian asset -- Re: Putin: "Big problem - Hillary knows!" - [PEACE] [COMEDY]

[Zig the N.g]

Everybody who has a bone to pick with Hillary 'Cause You'd Be In Jail' Clinton, has either "mysteriously" died, or is literally (according to CNN) a Russian asset.

  Clinton Body Count
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinton_Body_Count
  https://www.whatreallyhappened.com/RANCHO/POLITICS/BODIES.php
  http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/WRHARTICLES/THE%20CLINTON%20BODY%20COUNT.pdf
  https://www.conservapedia.com/Clinton_body_count

  ‘Totally sane’: Dems can't make up their minds about who is a supposed 'Russian agent’. Trump? Bernie? Or… both?
  https://www.rt.com/usa/481479-bernie-russia-trump-swalwell/

  CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
  https://babylonbee.com/news/cdc-people-dirt-clintons-843-greater-risk-suicide

  Hillary Clinton Accidentally Posts Condolences For Tulsi Gabbard's Suicide One Day Early
  https://babylonbee.com/news/hillary-clinton-accidentally-posts-condolences-for-tulsi-gabbards-suicide-one-day-early


Everybody that is, except the BabylonBee, who have recently come to love Hillary Clinton:

  We Would Like To State For The Record That Hillary Clinton Is An Upstanding Citizen And A Fine Human Being
  https://babylonbee.com/news/we-would-like-to-state-for-the-record-that-hillary-clinton-is-an-upstanding-citizen-and-a-fine-human-being


(BTW, the life-ending conspiracy theories surrounding Hillary Clinton (totally fake news - she's truly an angel loved by all) are the -real- reason Trump is keeping Assange in Belmarsh max-security jail - it's the only way to protect him from Hillary Rodham Clinton's love for Assange.)

  Hillary Clinton: 'The Only Crime I Ever Committed Was Stealing The Hearts Of The American People'
  https://babylonbee.com/news/hillary-clinton-the-only-crime-i-ever-committed-was-stealing-the-hearts-of-the-american-people



On Mon, Feb 03, 2020 at 09:54:05AM +1100, Zig the N.g wrote:
> Word "wow", in just now, from Moscow:
> 
>   "Wow! Big problem, Hillary has 'urge' - must be Tulsi time
>    already !?#!"
> 
> 
>   Can Bernie And Tulsi Survive Hillary's "Urge" To Save The DNC?
>   https://www.zerohedge.com/political/can-bernie-and-tulsi-survive-hillarys-urge-save-dnc
> 
>     ...
>       "Great! Thank you @HillaryClinton. You, the queen of
>       warmongers, embodiment of corruption, and personification of
>       the rot that has sickened the Democratic Party for so long,
>       have finally come out from behind the curtain.
>       ...
>       It’s now clear that this primary is between you and me. Don’t
>       cowardly hide behind your proxies. Join the race directly."
> 
>          — Tulsi Gabbard 🌺 (@TulsiGabbard) October 18, 2019
>          https://twitter.com/TulsiGabbard/status/1185289626409406464?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
> 
>     Gabbard throws down the gauntlet here outing Hillary as the
>     mastermind behind the DNC strategy of allowing the current crop
>     of future losers to fall all over themselves to alienate as many
>     centrist voters as possible.
> 
>     This paves the way for Hillary to swoop in on her broom, pointed
>     hat in hand, and declare herself the savior of the Democratic
>     Party’s chances to defeat Donald Trump next November.
> 
> 
> Surely Hillary wouldn't be running on an urge to keep outta jail?
> 
> As the number of Hillary Clinton body doubles increases (see photo in
> original article for one double - there are at least 3 Hillarys doing
> the rounds - I guess since she struggles to remain conscious and not
> trip over smooth floors...), Hillary's "urge" grows.
> 
> The amount of money being spent for Hillary is truly impressive -
> especially the latest alleged 'hat in the ring' from Mini Mike B -
> all just to try to keep Bernie at bay and provide a viable pathway
> for  Hillary "'Cause You'd Be In Jail" Clinton.
> 
> You've heard of Breaking Bad, now have a laugh with Barking Mad, the
> true tale of Hillary Clinton's dozens of attempts to avoid legal
> service, arrest and jail, her subsequent commitment (she's a very
> committed woman) to the Brokensaw Psychiatric Quantannimoh Bae
> Facility, and be sure to stay tuned for Season 2 - Hillary's
> over a dozen thrilling Quantannimoh Bae escape attempts.
> 
> Rumour has it the finalé grants her Quantannimoh laundry privileges,
> in no small part due to her animated uncontrolled flailing being put
> to effective use to wash the orange man bad linen for her fellow
> inmates.
> 
> 
> 
> On Tue, Oct 22, 2019 at 09:42:35PM +1100, some N.g wrote:
> > Well well well, an absolutely UNredacted Trump-Putin telephone
> > transcript.
> > 
> > In non Soviet Russia, phone transcribe you!
> > 
> > On problem below, subject line postulate with "If".
> > 
> > 
> >   What If Hillary Clinton Was Right...
> >   https://www.zerohedge.com/political/what-if-hillary-clinton-was-right
> >   https://www.libertynation.com/hillary-clinton-was-right-a-satire/
> > 
> >   The following is a transcript of what Russian President Vladimir
> >   Putin recently told President Donald Trump during a phone call.
> >   This transcript was provided by an anonymous Russian – possibly the
> >   same one from whom Rep. Adam Schiff tried to get compromising
> >   photos of Trump. Unlike Schiff, we have not doctored this
> >   transcript.
> > 
> >   Vladimir Putin:
> >   “Hello, Trump, this is Vladimir. Hah! Funny man. Vladimir Putin,
> >   president of Russia. Listen, we need to have serious talk. We had
> >   agreement. You tell me you cooperate if I help you win election in
> >   2016. What’s this make American great again sh*t? I thought that
> >   was joke. You start playing with the ball or I’m going to replace
> >   you next year with Tulsi Gabbard.
> > 
> >   “Yes, Donald, I know, but you are not helpful. Not like Obama. When
> >   I rigged his election against … what’s his name? That big, stupid
> >   Mormon? Romney, yes, Romney. When I helped Obama he promised to be
> >   flexible. Yes, he was very flexible – I got everything I wanted. He
> >   was, how you say, pushover. I hoped you would be like him, only
> >   more white, of course.
> > 
> >   “You make America strongest country in world, now. You increase
> >   energy production – that’s not good for me. You give aid to the
> >   sniveling Ukrainian dogs. You do nothing for Russia. No, that’s not
> >   funny, I tell you funny Soviet joke: What do you do with peasant
> >   who steal sack of potatoes? Send him to gulag for three winters.
> >   Hmm, perhaps it lose something in translation – in Russian, is very
> >   funny. Of course, as we used to say in KGB: In Soviet Russia, joke
> >   laughs at you.
> > 
> >   “So, listen carefully, Trump. You start helping me or Tulsi gets
> >   your job. Yes, she secret Russian asset but we have problem.
> >   Clinton knows. Yes, she knows – I read it on the News Fox and the
> >   Washington Examination. I don’t know how she knows. Probably those
> >   Ukrainian sh*ts told her – you know, the same ones who try to help
> >   her win election.
> > 
> >   “Clinton is stupid woman, though. She think I groom Tulsi to help
> >   you win next year. No, I groom her to take your place. Why? Because
> >   she better looking than you and also because I am, how you say,
> >   woke: I think it’s time to have woman Russian agent running
> >   America. I’ve had black Russian agent, orange Russian agent, and
> >   now it’s time for woman Russian agent.
> > 
> >   “Yes, it is very funny that everyone Russian agent except that
> >   crazy old communist, Bernie – and he’s the only one who wants to be
> >   Russian agent! That is right: Clinton also know that Jill Stein is
> >   Russian agent. Clinton think everyone Russian agent – it’s the only
> >   thing she has ever been right about. But she think I set up Gabbard
> >   for the third-party campaign to help you win. No, she is not smart.
> >   When you read as many of her emails as I do, that becomes clear.
> > 
> >   “What about this third party thing, anyway? You Americans have too
> >   many parties. You should have only one, like here in Russia. Your
> >   Democratic Party – that is funny name, by the way –  your
> >   Democratic Party may be fools, but they understand benefit of
> >   having only one party.
> > 
> >   “Yes, I have the dirt on all other candidates. By January, Gabbard
> >   will be ready to take nomination and then you get in the line or
> >   you lose, understand?
> > 
> >   “OK, Donald, you know what you have to do or it’s Tulsi time – like
> >   the famous American country song. OK, I must go now, I have Biden
> >   on the other line. He wants his son to be next head of Russian
> >   army.”
> > 
> > 
> > In non Soviet Russia, you have been, how we say?, line punched.
> >