[ot] [joke] [personal]
gmkarl at gmail.com
Mon Dec 7 09:03:35 PST 2020
note: I have never been involved in a mafia, other than mysterious
slavery, so the word 'rat' is just a way to make leaking sound bad and
dangerous, to me.
a man was recording things with his smartphone. then he bought a rat, and his
smartphone broke. he bought another smartphone, and that one broke too. he
got 14 mysterious offers to buy his rat. on the news, the man saw media
beginning to discuss changing how everyone communicates, going back to
landlines and paper letters.
the rat ran away, and the man was sad. he bought another phone at the store,
and it broke as soon as he went into the camera app. he visited his friends,
and they wanted to take pictures. the pictures worked out okay, until he
talked about how sad he was that his rat ran away. then somebody dropped
their camera in the toilet by accident. another person accidentally factory
reset their phone. nobody seemed to remember the visit, afterwards.
he went to another store to get a phone. they told him phones were never made.
that there was no such thing as a phone! they seemed to have no idea what he
was talking about.
the man put on a disguise, withdrew money in cash from the bank, and went to a
large mainstream store to buy a phone. he didn't look at the phone while
picking it up. a store worker asked if they could help him, and he replied,
'yes; I'm looking for donuts. do you sell any donuts?' . he bought some
donuts. he went to self-checkout, and obscured his donuts while he bought
them. he left a lot of extra cash hidden for an employee to find, and stole the
phone without checking it out.
at home, he opened the phone, and threw out the battery, the sim card,
and the sd card. he made a little aluminum foil enclosure, and put another
aluminum foil enclosure around it. he then went on a drive to a very rural
area, and waited until 4 in the morning.
he plugged the phone into the backup battery, and opened the camera app.
OMIGOD. THE CAMERA APP RAN.
More information about the cypherpunks