Nation's Progressives Give Thanks That They Have So Much To

[Zenaan Harkness]

Be Angry About This Year
Reply-To:

  Nation's Progressives Give Thanks That They Have
  So Much To Be Angry About This Year
  https://www.zerohedge.com/political/nations-progressives-give-thanks-they-have-so-much-be-angry-about-year
  https://babylonbee.com/news/progressives-give-thanks-that-they-have-so-much-to-complain-about-this-year

    In honor of Thanksgiving week, the nation's progressives have
    begun to give thanks that they have so much to be angry and
    offended about this year.

    "Thank you, unspecified deity who may or may not exist, for
    giving us so much stuff to be outraged about," said Staci Walder,
    42, of Portland, as she prepared her vegan, kale-wrapped turkey.

      "I'm truly humbled that you've blessed me with the Trump
      presidency, the patriarchy, the laws of economics, and
      biological facts to rage against."

      "Every year, it's important to pause and recognize how
      much we have to be angry about."

      "A lot of people struggle with gratitude, but I'm deeply
      thankful that the universe has given us a veritable cornucopia
      of things to be mad about," agreed Mary Wallace, 27, of New
      York.

      "I know that I come from a place of privilege, and when I think
      about those poor people who have absolutely nothing to be mad
      about, I utter a prayer of thanks to goddess."

    Many progressives partake in an annual tradition of writing down
    all the things they're thankful to be mad about:

      - White people
      - Pronouns
      - Personal responsibility
      - Satire that does not affirm their viewpoint
      - Billionaires
      - Old tweets
      - 32-ounce sodas
      - Plastic straws
      - People who hold a steady job
      - Appropriating other cultures
      - Excluding other cultures
      - Bush
      - Obama
      - Trump
      - Babies
      - Kanye West
      - America

    "If we'd all just remember to count our outrages, we'd have a
    much worse attitude all the time," Wallace said as she looked
    over her own list of offensive things that dare to exist.

    "We should live our lives as though it's Outrage Thanksgiving
    every day."