women’s desire “is not relational [but] narcissistic” - the phenomenal popularity of the "rape fantasy" - [PEACE]

[Zenaan Harkness]

So E. Jean "most people think of rape as being sexy" Carroll is back
on the 16 minutes of fame trail after her "Trump raped me" book
bombed:

  'Rape Is Sexy' Trump Accuser Sues President For Defamation
  https://www.zerohedge.com/political/rape-sexy-trump-accuser-sues-president-defamation

  ... is now suing Trump for defamation ...
  I guess since the book did not make any money ...


But the deeper qwestion here is why women are overwhelmingly
tittilated with the "soft rape" fantasy, and the tl;dr appears to be
"narcissism":

  Don’t Call Them “Rape Fantasies”
   Women: Ever had exciting fantasies of being sexually “devoured” by
   a stranger?
  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201411/don-t-call-them-rape-fantasies

  Study after study has revealed that one of women’s most popular
  erotic fantasies is being raped. Yet the fundamental dynamics of
  such fantasies has almost nothing to do with such a heinous
  act—which isn’t simply aggressive, but coercive, violent, and at
  times even life-threatening. After all, a woman feeling scared out
  of her mind is hardly conducive to sexual arousal.

  Additionally, women are frequently embarrassed, or ashamed, about
  the fact that such lascivious imaginings can actually turn them on.
  So what exactly is going on here? Why is it so exciting for many
  women to fantasize themselves as the recipient of a male’s
  unbridled, out-of-control lust? This post will attempt to clarify a
  topic as intriguing as it’s controversial. (Not to mention,
  absolutely mortifying to feminists!)

  Many of my ideas here relate to the findings of two contemporary
  female sexologists, as interviewed in a recent New York Times
  article (09/24/14) called “What Do Women Want?—Discovering What
  Ignites Female Desire” by Daniel Bergner.
  http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

  Not cited in this piece is a famous quote from the conversationally
  gifted Madame de Staël (1766-1817), whose prescient words on the
  subject I regard as seminal. “The desire of the man,” she opined,
  “is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of
  the man.” Without being overly simplistic or reductive, I think
  this timeless reflection goes to the heart of why women’s imagining
  what’s best appreciated as a “safe rape” [talk about oxymorons!] is
  so common a theme in their fantasies. And it’s no less common in
  literally thousands of romance novels, composed especially to
  titillate an almost mind-bogglingly large female audience.

  Bergner, interviewing Marta Meana, a psychology professor at UNLV,
  quotes this researcher (who, by the way, explicitly deems herself a
  feminist) as regretfully being obliged to admit that for women
  “being desired is the orgasm.” Further—and in stark contrast to
  virtually everything that’s been written about the close tie
  between female sexual interest and emotional intimacy—Meana asserts
  that women’s desire “is not relational [but] narcissistic.” It’s
  mostly about externally validating, or strengthening, feelings of
  self-love through experiencing her physical being as the coveted
  object of both a man’s sexual needs and adulation. And here Meana
  cites the research showing that in comparison with men, women’s
  fantasies attend less to giving pleasure than getting it,
  concluding that when it comes to desire, “women may be far less
  relational than men.”

  ...