erikrepo erikrepo at
Thu Dec 20 11:00:30 PST 2018

Hello all!

It's "the kid", well actually I am no longer a kid, I am almost 25. I figured I would tell my  story. It all starts with my brother. Around when I turned 12 my brother began seeing strange dreams which he claimed were from the future. He told me about various events in my life, people I would meet, as well as things that would happen. When my brother told me about the cypherpunks and futuristic technologies. I started learning about encryption & the cypherpunks and I decided I wanted to become one of you. I remember when I first read various writings like the cypherpunk manifesto and it made a lot of sense to me.

So I began working on an encryption program as well as a puzzles, which I hoped would impress you all enough to accept me. (I know there is no real group to be accepted into but at the time I though that was the case) The technologies my brother described really inspired me, I wanted to create something similar myself. As I wanted to impress you all, I also sent the encryption program to my brother. So that he could look it over and improve it. I was worried it would not be optimal. I created the name Satoshi Nakamoto from my laptops name Toshiba Satellite and me and my brother's last names. Then I made the GMX account satoshin at with a simple password "******" I sent the program to this mailing list with an email going along the lines: "Here's an encryption program me and my brother wrote let me know what you think?" I didn't even tell my brother who what I was doing with the program or that I was sending it here. Two weeks later I got a reply which I recall going along the lines of: "Hey kid your program turned out to be a breakthrough, it became Bitcoin." After which I was asked how much do I want? So from the top of my head I said 1/20th as it seemed like a nice number. It ended up working well with 1 million for me & my brother and a 21 million cap. But I didn’t take the coins instead I trusted them with Nick and others. I am not sure why. Often I am not aware why I do some things, I go by intuition and feelings. All I know is I wanted to create something that would liberate all mankind. Though unfortunately it looks like it has created a lot of arguing, fighting, and hashwars everything I wanted to avoid. I never liked fighting as whenever my parents would fight I would end up crying and hiding in my room with my computer.

In high school I had barely any friends since no one liked me and I got bullied a lot. People would call me an Asperger, autistic, and the worst ones would tell me to go kill myself. Which is partially why I have always been worried that I would not be accepted by the rest of the cypherpunks as I usually don't get accepted by any group whether it was school or social groups. As people didn't tend to like me computers and the internet became my friends.

As high school was an awful experience I decided to go to university as I had been told that, people are a lot more accepting in higher education etc. So I went to university in the hopes that it would be a better experience than high school, instead of concentrating on the project. Though that was not the only reason. I also started getting increasingly worried about being exposed. Though if you want to know what scares me the most it's not the authorities or governments, but opening up to people. That’s why I hide behind a mask of anonymity and I never told anyone about myself on here. I would always dodge question regarding my whereabouts and identity. But in university I learned to open up to people. People aren't all trying to trick, bully, and make fun of me etc.
I know some of you may have read the Satoshi Family Foundation book. It was actually written as a back story to my life by my friends. Though it did have some spelling errors etc. I do can write kind of sloppily sometimes lol. I know some may not have been happy regarding me going to university instead of concentrating on the project, but I think it was worth it. Being older I hope I will better be able to understand the philosophy etc. behind the cypherpunks. Maybe I will even expand on it and write my own manifesto one day, at least one can dream.

University was actually quite good. I even got to experience love :) Though it was short lived as she got diagnosed with Menieres disease. Generally if something can go wrong it does go wrong in my life. Even with my brother having told me about all the mistakes I make I still end up making them. I supposed one cannot change faith. The girl I loved broke up with me because she did not want to hold me back. Though I would have loved her forever. I wish I had had the chance and the courage to say so. Her seizures, reduced hearing etc. did not matter as I loved her enough. But then I remembered a song with the lyrics: "If you love her, let her go" and so I did. She has found someone else by now, I just hope she is happy that is all that matters. Next time I will be braver and say what I truly feel like. I just recently figured out why my brother told me I needed a cabin in Alberta. I believe that is where I am meant to live together with my true love one day.

Music has also always been a big part of my life. I use it to tune myself out of my surroundings. As well as to inspire myself. I enjoy matching the song to my mood, surroundings, or just to cancel noise out. I often go on long walks late at night to listen to tunes and just think. While living in Canada I would love the cold crisp air and the starry skies at night.

So far everything my brother has told me about my life has come true. I hope some of the things he has told me won't happen though. My brother said he would die of a brain aneurysm in 2 years :( We have both had fairly rough lives.

My parents got a divorce when we were young (I was 5-6 and my brother 8-9 years old) after the company my parents established together went bankrupt. My mom remarried a couple tough years later needing someone to help and support her, a decision she regrets to. One thing causing regret for my mom is that my step dad threw my brother out of our house to my dad's place. Though it was not fully my step dad's fault as my dad was not paying child support. The divorce impacted my brother very poorly, I have been more fortunate and resilient.

My brother recently got kicked out a second time after a fight with one of my dads girlfriends. My dad did no like what he had to say about my dad girlfriend so they got in a fight. If there is one person that deserves credit from all this it is my brother. I at least got to be Satoshi for a while before leaving for university. I am not sure if he even believed me when I told him where I sent the program and who I am. But hopefully he will believe me soon.

Erik Repo
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