[OT] Re: Fwd: <nettime> living under algorithmic governance

[Cecilia Tanaka]

On Sep 11, 2016 12:04 AM, "Mirimir" <mirimir at riseup.net> wrote:
>
> Maybe Facebook will eventually use "AI" to expand on that desire. Maybe
eventually dead people will even think that they're still alive ;)

Dead people don't think, Mirimir.  Why do you think I tried the suicide?
Just for fun?  I was bored, with lots of free time on my hands, and
thought  "Hey, let's try to discover in person if God, Heaven, Hell,
Saints, angels, all these things really exist?"  :)

Well, almost died twice, in different situations years ago.  In one of
them, in the Intensive Care Unity of the hospital, when I almost gone
forever, it was the only moment when the strong pain stopped.  I did not
see any light, any angel, but felt a deep inner peace.  I felt so much
harmony.  It was like to feel complete again, a so intimate and serene
happiness.  It was warm, cozy, sweet.  Absolute perfection.

> So you say. Or so something says, pretending to be you.

You will never know the true.  Nobody will knows. :)

> So what would freedom look like?

Death.  No pain.  No fear.  No thoughts.  No feelings.  No traums.  No
memories.  No nightmares.  No broken hearts.  No lies.  No masks.  No
labels.  No judgements.  No Injustice.  Simply, pure and absolute No
Existence.

But, well, there will be still chemical elements and all my Carbon will
become something new.  The beautiful circle of life.  <3

The human being is so contraditory and confused that even writing all these
things, I am seriously "life addicted".  I really love being alive.

Even when I cry and complain about feeling my heart destroyed, I remember a
beautiful music, poetry or thing that still make me feel smile.  There is
so much beauty in the world, my love.  Even when deeply hurt, when feeling
emotional and physical pain, I simply can't ignore so much beauty.  I tried
sometimes, but it's impossible.

And there are so amazing people in the world.  Even when I want to die, it
is impossible to me avoiding to smile when I listen children laughing,
happy, innocent.  Or when I see a happy puppie wagging its tail for me,
asking to play.  Or when I see the blue sea and feel its smell and the wind
playing with my hair.  Or when I think about my family.  I think it is
love, isn't it?
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