Happy 4 July!!!

[Rayzer]

Similar, set to a monty python skit:

A man and woman enter.  The man is played by Eric Idle, the woman is
played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the Secretary of State is played
by Terry Jones, also in drag.

Man:   You sit here, dear.

Woman:          All right.

Man:   Morning!

Secretary of State:     Morning!

Man:   Well, what’ve you got?

Secretary of State:     Well, there’s sanctions and prosecutions;
sanctions drone strikes and prosecutions; sanctions and war; sanctions
prosecutions and war; sanctions prosecutions drone strikes and war; war
prosecutions drone strikes and war; war sanctions war war prosecutions
and war; war drone strikes war war prosecutions war cyber war and war;

Vikings:           War war war war…

Secretary of State:     …war war war sanctions and war; war war war war
war war targeted assassinations war war war…

Vikings:           War! Lovely war! Lovely war!

Secretary of State:     …or a United Nations resolution combined with
infiltration, a USAID fake Twitter application, a CIA overthrow, trained
enhanced interrogators and with crippling sanctions on top and war.

Woman:          Have you got anything without war?

Secretary of State:     Well, there’s war sanctions drone strikes and
war, that’s not got much war in it.

Woman:          I don’t want ANY war!

Man:   Why can’t she have sanctions prosecutions war and drone strikes?

Woman:          THAT’S got war in it!

Man:   Hasn’t got as much war in it as war sanctions drone strikes and
war, has it?

Vikings:           War war war war… (Crescendo through next few lines…)

Woman:          Could you do the sanctions prosecutions war and drone
strikes without the war then?

Secretary of State:     Urgghh!

Woman:          What do you mean ‘Urgghh’? I don’t like war!

Vikings:           Lovely war! Wonderful war!

Secretary of State:     Shut up!

Vikings:           Lovely war! Wonderful war!

Secretary of State:     Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You
can’t have sanctions prosecutions war and drone strikes without the war.

Woman:          I don’t like war!

Man:   Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your war. I love it.
I’m having war war war war war war war targeted assassinations war war
war and war!

Vikings:           War war war war. Lovely war! Wonderful war!

Secretary of State:     Shut up!! Targeted assassinations are off.

Man:   Well could I have her war instead of the targeted assassinations
then?

Secretary of State:     You mean war war war war war war… (but it is too
late and the Vikings drown her words)

Vikings:           (Singing elaborately…) War war war war. Lovely war!
Wonderful war! War w-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-r war w-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-r war.
Lovely war! Lovely war! Lovely war! Lovely war! Lovely war! War war war war!

 
No actual diplomats were harmed in the making of this production.

http://auntieimperial.tumblr.com/post/96175631379 (H/t WashingtonBlog
and David Swanson)

On 07/04/2016 10:27 AM, juan wrote:
>                                   (south park - season 7 ep 1)
>
>
> Adams: 	We must go to war!
>
> Dickinson: 	But what about the violence?! The lives lost?! If we
> found a country, it should be founded on peace and diplomacy.
>
> Congressman 1: 	England will only understand one thing: Force.
>
> Congressman 2: 	[rises] I must state again for the record that
> South Carolina, North Carolina,
>  Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Georgia are against war! [pounds the table
>  with his fist] 
>
> Congressman 3: 	Yeah, because you don't care
>  about the fate of the Colonies like we do! You're all unpatriotic! And
>  if you don't like the Colonies, then you can git out! 
>
> Dickinson:
>  	Don't you call us unpatriotic! We're protesting this war
>  because we care so deeply for the fate of our Colonies! You are all
>  unpatriotic for leading the Colonies into a war that half of them
>  don't want! [the various Congressmen begin squabblig with each other]
>
> Cartman: 	[observing] Whoa, how very very relevant. 
>
> Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble
> Rabble Rabble! 
>
> Dickinson: 	We cannot found a country based on
> war! 
>
> Adams: 	We cannot found a country that is afraid to fight!
>
> Congressman: 	Rabble!
>
> Congressmen: 	Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble!
>
> [the doors open and in walks an august figure. The boisterous voices
> become hushed] Oh my, it's Benjamin Franklin. It's Benjamin Franklin.
> It's Benjamin Franklin. [they keep murmuring this as Franklin walks
> towards the main desk] 
>
> Cartman: 	Oh, it's Benjamin Franklin. It's Benjamin Franklin.
> It's Benjamin Franklin. 
>
> Hancock: 	Mr. Franklin, where do you stand on the war issue? 
>
> Franklin: 	I believe that if we are to form a new country, we
> cannot be a country that appears war-hungry and violent to the rest of
> the world. However, we also cannot be a country that appears weak and
> unwilling to fight to the rest of the world. So, what if we form a
> country that appears to want both? 
>
> Jefferson: 	Yes. Yes of course. We go to war, and
> protest going to war at the same time. 
>
> Dickinson: 	Right. If the people of our new country are allowed
> to do whatever they wish, then some will support the war and some will
> protest it. 
>
> Franklin:      And that means that as a nation, we could go to war
> with whomever we wished, but at the same time, act like we didn't want
> to. If we allow the people to protest what the government does, then the
> country will be forever blameless. 
>
> Adams: 	[holding a slice of chocolate
> cake] It's like having your cake, and eating it, too. 
>
> Congressman 2:	Think of it: an entire nation founded on saying
> one thing and doing another. 
>
> Hancock: 	And we will call that country the
> United States of America. 
>
> ---------------
>
> Think of it: an entire nation founded on saying one thing and
> doing another. 
>
>
>
>
>


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