isnt life surprising i was laying awake thinking last night about how
            different my life has gone then what i thought (in a good way)

   cate and i went through some of the free options around the web for
   valentines to download and print

   from anthro

       i love all the sweet artistically talented bloggers that offer free
                                  downloads around holidays for us readers

   this week i am getting all my ducks in a row so that this weekend i can
   hole up and sew myself some desperately needed skirts for church and
   summer

   but we feel more blessed and amazed than ever at lifes unexpected
   twists and turns and how happy we are that there is a loving heavenly
   father that understands the little picture we have in our minds for our
   lives and gently and lovingly helps us change our vision to a
   masterpiece i really love life

                                     ok its hard to stop i love every song

                                                       feeling so inspired

   but i couldnt stop looking at the picture because it shows the place
   where i played for the first 12 years of my life

   do you have to be obsessed with yarn and needles and hooks like i am to
   think that is the most inviting little space youve ever seen

   secondly i must say i know carbohydrates arent bad i know bread is life
      and wheat is the staff of life a lot of fruits and veggies are quite
             sugary/ starchy for almost everyone eating all these foods in
      moderation will do them fine but remember i am trying to regulate an
       abnormality to a diabetic sugar is the devil to someone with celiac
    disease wheat is the devil to someone with milk allergies dairy is the
   devel and what ive come to believe that for some women who dont ovulate
             high blood sugar may be their devil and it definately is mine

    all the sudden im 30 i thought id be driving a mini van full of kids
    and happily decorating my own home but life has shown me again that i
   am not in control and as i wait for more children and a sense of being
                                   settled

                cate (incredulously) what were you a child of adam and eve

     breakfast i always have two eggs and salsa always i dont really get
   sick of it and it would really stink if i did because theres not a lot
   out there for breakfast actually when you are at your ideal weight and
     ovulating regularly you can have any kind of whole grain hot cereal
   without a problem you know steel cut oats etc i am not quite there yet
     berries and grapes are pretty low on the glycemic index and i have
              those too oh and i love cottage cheese with fruit

   but the commonality between each experience was- it was out of my hands
        i occasionally fell in love with someone who couldnt be had i
         occasionally had to run from someone who wouldnt let me go

    i thought id live there forever one day when i was 12 my dad quit his
          job and we moved to lake tahoe it rocked my stable world

   she is my best babysitter for cate she takes turns with me putting cate
   to bed and being her pillow

     women who have these hormonal issues typically carry alot of weight
   around the middle (due to the out of control insulin and resultant too
    high of testosterone) and a high protein and fiber diet combined with
    low carbs really helps with that an added benefit is that these types
   of foods are so filling and you avoid the highs and crashes that people
                      with blood sugar problems live by

      my problem dear anne is that it is 2009 kids dont like to get all
     fussied up anymore and i dont think they would go to the trouble of
      making up stories about lost broaches to be able to go to a silly
    church picnic in my mind the little girls are wearing spring dresses
   and holding parasols with their gloved hands while the boys are eating
   biscuits and drinking homemade rootbeer with their hats and suspenders
    on but i live in a dreamland where i want everything stylized i know
                           you understand me anne

             im loving babies & mamas sunshine happy rooms and cool colors