all the sudden im 30 i thought id be driving a mini van full of kids
    and happily decorating my own home but life has shown me again that i
   am not in control and as i wait for more children and a sense of being
                                   settled

     one of my resolutions for 2009 was to stop ignoring the etsy shop and
     to not spin my wheels all day (these two problems are very related) i
        am the queen of walking in circles around the house and not really
    getting anything accomplished i wouldnt care except for that it drives
       me nuts part of the problem is my insomniatic nights which leave me
           only half there during the day times ( which then leads to high
         caffeine consumption) so i decided step one is to get good nights
   sleeps i am trying to change my night time routine to a peaceful herbal
       tea quiet inspiration seeking few hours it helps if i keep our room
    clean and the sheets freshly washed and calming reading more- tv less-
   at night is a goal then hopefully my days will be a little more with it
                                               because i hate wasting time

                   acre of land is my favorite song of his

   and how every plan ive ever made has been reconstructed into something
   harder and better than what i laid out as my own agenda

     i bet that block is not nearly as big as i remember it being but i
                       remember it being quite a trip

   and then suddenly and to my surprise i met and married the man i had no
          idea i was dreaming of but he was perfect for me and better than
                            anything i had imagined or sought after before

   she is my best babysitter for cate she takes turns with me putting cate
                         to bed and being her pillow

   valentines day preparations

      my problem dear anne is that it is 2009 kids dont like to get all
     fussied up anymore and i dont think they would go to the trouble of
      making up stories about lost broaches to be able to go to a silly
    church picnic in my mind the little girls are wearing spring dresses
   and holding parasols with their gloved hands while the boys are eating
   biscuits and drinking homemade rootbeer with their hats and suspenders
    on but i live in a dreamland where i want everything stylized i know
                           you understand me anne

     well as it turns out it was me who needed her the most i think if the
     test of the greatest among us is the one who will be the servant than
   penny wins in this houseok animal peoplei get it i really really get it

   grant and i talked last fall about wanting to take control and own a
   home and make some of our dreams a reality so we planned to move back
   to california for some opportunities there

                                            a little note for my valentine

   i look for girls with purses that compliment mine

                off to the kindergarten valentines day party

   i do have one faithful companion who is braving the germs penny the pug
                                                                   russell

                    what do you look for in a best friend

   secondly i must say i know carbohydrates arent bad i know bread is life
      and wheat is the staff of life a lot of fruits and veggies are quite
             sugary/ starchy for almost everyone eating all these foods in
      moderation will do them fine but remember i am trying to regulate an
       abnormality to a diabetic sugar is the devil to someone with celiac
    disease wheat is the devil to someone with milk allergies dairy is the
   devel and what ive come to believe that for some women who dont ovulate
             high blood sugar may be their devil and it definately is mine

      but we feel more blessed and amazed than ever at lifes unexpected
    twists and turns and how happy we are that there is a loving heavenly
   father that understands the little picture we have in our minds for our
        lives and gently and lovingly helps us change our vision to a
                       masterpiece i really love life

                                              the deal with pcos and carbs

   but the main thing i love about this picture is tree cover you can see
   in the upper right corner thats how it was all around the block even on
    really hot days you could find a great place to play in some serious
   shade everyone had a huge tree or trees somewhere on their property and
     bushes and ivy and a great variety of things the only reason we had
    those young trees on the corner was because my mom sold our big palm
                  tree to some palm springs landscapers ha