The New Paranoia: Hedge-Funders Are Bullish on Gold, Guns, and Inflatable Lifeboats

[John Young]

Har. This is another effort to boost buying and hoarding of gold
as if it will be worth more than evanescent financial data.

Gold won't be worth shit in a collapse. Those with guns won't
know how to defend their families when being hunted as food
by large gangs long-accustomed to getting by without financial
security fantasies.

Those in bunkers will be smelled at the vent outlets and dug out
like tasty bunnies shaking in a burrow. Offering the grubbers a
gold bar to go away, pretty please, will buy a prime spot on the
roasting spit.

Shooting a digger, or a dozen or two, will bring hundreds more
to the feast. Best bludgeon your loved ones to death with the
worthless gold.

Why idiot money-grubbers think precious metal protection is a 
safe harbor to be defended with popguns in the outback reminds
of what Libertarianism will be reduced to when the cops join
the brutes take all of it back where it belongs.

Any case, these fictional scare stories only appeal to those
who never learned physical labor, believed mind work was the
same, don't pity their willful ignorance. Call them bosses, or 
worse, investors, even worse, seers of what's needed for
survival.

Now let me show you a surefire way to eternal life, and don't
insult my fancy headdress.