Precinct Collapse Disorder Plagues Coastal Communities

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Sun Dec 9 11:38:02 PST 2007


December 9, 2029

Precinct Collapse Disorder Plagues Coastal Communities

MAR VERDE--Like residents in many coastal counties in this
affluent area of northern California, local store-owner
Dwight Henrikson was surprised to discover Thursday
morning that the local sheriff's office had been
inexplicably abandoned.  "I got a call yesterday to come
down to the station to give a witness statement," observes
Henrikson, "but when I got here, nobody was around.  The
lights were on, the doors were opened, coffee was brewing,
but the place was empty.  It was eerie."

The phenomenon, dubbed "precinct collapse disorder" by
social scientists who have studied it, has struck numerous
police, fire, and other municipal agencies along the
pacific coast and throughout the northwestern United
States.  "The disorder has placed a particularly intense
strain on the system," notes California Attorney General
Edga Meese.  "In many cases, the very individuals who'd be
investigating these clusters of missing persons are
exactly who's missing.  We're doing what we can to
reallocate resources, but it's been a real challenge."

The disorder, which has been variously linked to declining
health benefits for civil servants, the proliferation of
employee RFID tags, and the reported health effects of
on-the-job video surveillance, is characterized by the
spontaneous disappearance of all employees at a station or
agency office.  Occasionally a stray, uniformed rookie or
two is found sleeping on an office floor or wandering
confused in the vicinity.  "We are scrambling on this,"
explains Dr. Penny Gaspeir, an expert on the disorder.  "It
appears to have a complex of causes, and there are a number of
hypotheses, but we are working on-the-fly, in the hot zone,
with lots of conjecture and not much context."

Most uncanny to residents in affected precincts has been
their continued ability to have calls to otherwise
abandoned station houses answered promptly and
pleasantly.  "The weird thing was, when I found the station
empty, I called 9-1-1," elaborates Henrikson.  "I heard a
phone ring somewhere in the back, there, and then somebody
picked up and took down my information."

"Not many people realize that much of their local service
has been outsourced," continues Dr. Gaspeir,
"particularly to offshore call centers, and private
evidence labs and real-time on-the-job video monitors.
There may not be any officers in the station, but the phones
are still answered and much of the work still gets done."

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