Mr. Blue Goes Deaf When He Sees Red

[Tyler Durden]

That's the thing that sucks. The US's Liberals are almost as fascisistic as 
the clouds of middle-counrty hillbillies. I figured that out as a Brooklyn 
HS teacher when I realized the true meaning of an oft-repeated phrase of the 
time: "STAY IN SCHOOL".

-TD

>From: "R.A. Hettinga" <rah at shipwright.com>
>To: cypherpunks at al-qaeda.net
>Subject: Mr. Blue Goes Deaf When He Sees Red
>Date: Fri, 12 Nov 2004 22:16:19 -0500
>
>Mostly because I sent his "Declaration of Expulsion" here...
>
>It's entirely possible that, absent a physical threat to keep the country
>together, we have all the necessary ingredients to go the way of the Soviet
>Union someday, and devolve.
>
>Cheers,
>RAH
>------
>
><http://www.humaneventsonline.com/article.php?print=yes&id=5750>
>
>HUMAN EVENTS ONLINE: The National Conservative Weekly Since 1944
>
>Mr. Blue Goes Deaf When He Sees Red
>
>by Mike Thompson
>Posted Nov 12, 2004
>
>  Twenty-four hours after the dramatic U.S. presidential-election results
>were validated, Human Events Online published my essay (which I had been
>hatching for two weeks), "Declaration of Expulsion," a slightly satiric
>proposal to kick out of the Union the 12 most liberal states, either to
>join the People's Socialist Dominion of Canada or, on their own, go
>straight to Hell.
>
>  Within hours (and I do not claim that my piece was a causal effect),
>liberal voices formed into an enthusiastic chorus for roughly the same
>idea: Democrat gurus Lawrence O'Donnell and Robert Beckel, as angry talking
>heads on two separate TV news shows, taunted the newly solid-Republican
>South (all states of which actually are overfed "welfare clients" of the
>affluent, heavily taxed North, huffed O'Donnell) to secede, for the second
>time since 1860; The reliably opportunistic Internet erupted with "I
>Seceded" T-shirts for sale, plus the mocking map of a 31-Red-state nation
>called "Jesusland," and An e-mail rapidly circulating among liberals touted
>creation of the country of "American Coastopia," whose upscale Atlantic-
>and Pacific-rim inhabitants joyfully would (what else?) fly over Fly-Over
>Country to get away from "rednecks in Oklahoma and homophobic
>knuckle-draggers in Wyoming."
>
>  Then came confirmation of the growing fascination for dividing what once
>was "one nation indivisible," when Manhattan-based liberal talk-show host
>Alan Colmes invited me to be a guest for 15 minutes on his late-night radio
>program.
>
>  My on-air "15 minutes of fame" would mushroom into 45 minutes of
>defamation: "Why are you so intolerant of liberals?" asked Herr Colmes, who
>apparently had forgotten that he was supposed to ask me when I had stopped
>beating my wife. I explained to him factually that more liberals than
>conservatives publicly are advocating dissolution of the Union, and that
>the issue, in either event, is not intolerance but rather
>insolubility--that is, there is no middle ground, no compromise possible on
>most CultureWar issues.
>
>  "That's exactly what intolerance is!" asserted the intolerant 
>talkmeister.
>
>  "Listen carefully, Alan," I urged. "If you want Congress to pass a
>10-dollar minimum wage and I want an eight-dollar cap, it's possible for us
>to compromise at nine dollars. But how do we compromise on abortion? Shall
>we kill only half as many babies? How do we compromise on gay marriage?
>Shall we allow a lesbian to marry a lesbian but forbid a man to marry a
>man? There are too many of these insoluble differences between the Red
>states and the Blue states."
>
>  "I can't believe how intolerant you are!" screamed Alan.
>
>  Soon a self-identified lesbian called in breathlessly to confess "intense
>fear of intolerant Red states." (Why, I thought, was she phoning a radio
>show in the middle of the night instead of her local 911 operator?) The
>perceptive host again verbally pounced on me, his guest, who safely lives
>in the brimstone warmth of Red Florida: "Do you think, Mr. Thompson, that
>this woman is evil or immoral?"
>
>  "Alan, I have no idea who the woman is," I answered. "I have just met her
>anonymously over the phone. All I know is that she has made a bad choice of
>lifestyle, because lesbians have a documented higher rate of alcoholism, a
>higher rate of mental problems and a higher rate of suicide than
>heterosexual women."
>
>  Alan, who apparently is aurally challenged, now was in the full-boost
>stage of liberal ballistics: "What do you mean, this woman RAPES other
>women? You are filled with hate! How DARE you say such a thing!"
>
>  "Rape?" I asked, flabbergasted. "I said RATE--as in 'suicide rate.'
>RATE--as in 'alcoholism rate'! Please listen to me, Alan. Is your phone
>bad?"
>
>  With no apology to his mystified guest, Alan disconnected the lesbian's
>call and radically changed the subject: "Do you think John Kerry is a
>traitor?"
>
>  "Yes, Alan. One who commits treason," I observed coolly, "by definition 
>is
>a traitor. Kerry went to Paris and consulted with our Communist Vietnam
>enemies, not with U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger. Subsequently,
>Kerry publicly endorsed the outrageous Communist 'peace plan,' not his own
>country's plan.
>
>  "In uniform, Kerry during the war and under oath before the U.S. Senate
>also accused his fellow American soldiers of indiscriminately raping and
>killing Vietnamese civilians and destroying their villages just for the fun
>of it--false charges that were welcomed and used by the Communist nation's
>cruel jailers for years to torture American prisoners. Therefore, Mr. Kerry
>is a double traitor."
>
>  Unguided-missile Colmes finally reached the smoking-burnout stage, 
>spewing
>invectives and ridicule at me as fast as his facile, bifurcated tongue
>could wag.
>
>  "How can you just sit there and libel a statesman like John Kerry?" he
>sputtered.
>
>  "How dare you sit in judgment of a great American patriot!"
>
>  My answer: "Apparently you have forgotten, Alan, but you asked me to 'sit
>in judgment' of John Kerry--you asked me if I thought he was a traitor. I
>didn't bring up the subject." Pausing, I asked, "By the way, can you tell
>your audience how the Constitution defines a traitor? Go ahead. Surely you
>must know."
>
>  Retorted Prof. Colmes testily: "I'm not going to play your little quiz 
>game!"
>
>  "It's not a game, Alan," I said. "Are you ignorant and don't know the
>answer, or are you afraid to speak the truth? The Constitution defines a
>traitor as someone who in time of war adheres to our enemy and gives the
>enemy 'aid and comfort'--those are the exact words. Listen, Alan, listen."
>
>  His response was a curt good-bye before going to the final break of the
>hour to promote rupture-easers and get-rich-quick books from unknown
>con-artists.
>
>  When I submitted "Declaration of Expulsion," I felt a bit like Jonathan
>Swift must have when he wrote "A Modest Proposal," a tongue-in-dark-cheek
>suggestion that the "excess" babies born to Irish Catholics should be eaten
>by Englishmen as a cheap source of meat. After my 45-minute broadcast
>encounter with a typical American liberal, however, I believe that
>expulsion of the most egregiously leftwing states is anything but a slight
>"joke'; it is, in fact, clearly the serious and necessary path for rescue
>and revival of the United States of America.
>
>  I am also sure that God will be understanding when the U.S.A., a reborn
>nation with revised borders, reaffirms the entire First Amendment and does
>not change its name at this time, even if well intended, to Jesusland.
>
>
>--
>-----------------
>R. A. Hettinga <mailto: rah at ibuc.com>
>The Internet Bearer Underwriting Corporation <http://www.ibuc.com/>
>44 Farquhar Street, Boston, MA 02131 USA
>"... however it may deserve respect for its usefulness and antiquity,
>[predicting the end of the world] has not been found agreeable to
>experience." -- Edward Gibbon, 'Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'