The True Story Of The Attack On America

[CJ Parker]

************ A SPECIAL REPORT BY ************
"The World's Lamest Conspiracy Theorist" [TM]
*********************************************

  My early Report that the gNu World Order Trade
Center Attack was Planned&OR&Perpetrated by "the
same guys who 'done' the Kennedy's" *did* turn out
to be Total BullShit, but RecentRevelations have
brought PositiveProof that ThisHalfWit [TM] was on
the right HalfTrack, all along.

  It turns out that the TwinTowerTragedy was the
end result of a new Promotional Campaign for the
reemergence of 'George' magazine, in which the
Pilots of the HiJacked AirPlanes were supposed
to 'Buzz' the WTC, creating a BigStir, with an
accompanying Malestrom of Publicity.
  Unfortunately, the MasterMinds of 'George'
magazine's Promotional Campaign had no better
sense than to use Pilots that were trained by
John F. Kennedy Jr. They were quite simply just
Lousy Pilots, Eh?

  Thus the "Attack On Ameri%a" is shown to be
nothing more than yet another effort by the 
MainStreamDream NotReallyNews Media to CoverUp
yet another Grandoise FuckUp by the Kennedys,
as has been going on ever since Jackie 'offed' 
Jack in Dallas and was Prevented from Escaping
out the back of the Presidential Limosine by the
Secret Service Agent who wrestled her back into
the vehicle and placed her under Arrest, only
to later be Accused of Groping the First Lady,
in order to ShutHimTheFuckUp! [See the "Lone
GunWoman Theory" Conspiracy Paper of Nov. 23,
1963]

  Meanwhile, Osama Been Bomb'in has been quoted
as speculating that the RealReason Ameri%ans
keep Observing A Minute Of Silence is that
they know that Allah doesn't listen to the
Prayers of InFidels, anyway.

  And, speaking of Moments Of Silence, I have
learned from a SemiReputable Lame Conspiracy
Source that George 'WhiteLine' Bush's suggestion
during a Security Council meeting that those
present could show Ameri%an %itizens their
Resolve to Respond Quickly&OR&Strongly to the
"Attack On Ameri%a" by "going out and beating
up some A-RAB CabDrivers" was met by an
mBareAssIng Silence, with 'DubyaEl' being
deterred from this plan only by Dick Chaney
reminding him, "We did that *last* week..."


=====
CJ Parker #05987-196
"Proud To Be A Felon In Ameri%a!"

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