You Are Invited To Thanksgiving Dinner At Bill's House

[sonofgomez709]

Instructions for Microsoft's New TV Dinner Product:

 You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to
 accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not
 give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an
 infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others
 smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how
 good it is.

 If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven.
 Set the oven using these keystrokes:

                mstv.dinn.//08.5min at 50%heat

 Then enter:

    ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.

 If you have a Macintosh microwave oven, insert the dinner and
 press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.

 If you have a Unix microwave oven, insert the dinner, enter the
 ingredients of the dinner found on the package label, the weight
 of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking and press start.
 The oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the dinner
 exactly to your specification.

 Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case
 your oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove
 the dinner from the oven and enter:

          ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap

 This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the
 microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work,
 contact your oven vendor. The oven itself is obviously on the blink.

 Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger
 than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of
 which are empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is too
 large to fit in your oven, you will need to upgrade your equipment.

 Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the
 chicken variety is currently produced. If you want another variety,
 call Microsoft Help and they will explain that you really don't want
 another variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need. Microsoft
 has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their
 chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family
 size. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be
 saved only in Microsoft approved packaging.

 Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98.
 However, that version has yet to be released. Users have
 permission to get thrilled in advance.

 Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the
 freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not
 a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.


CJ Parker <sonofgomez709 at yahoo.com>
http://profiles.yahoo.com/sonofgomez709
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